Sexual Health Tips (18+) · Dec 19, 2022

10 Simple & Effective Tips on How to Have More Sex in Marriage

Updated: 11th October, 2024

Having more sex in marriage can be challenging. The good news is there are some easy tips that can help you get back in the game and increase the amount of sex you have with your spouse.

When it comes to sex, every married couple wants to feel more sexually connected. But what happens when one partner feels unappreciated?

So, how can you be sure you both appreciate each other and not take your partner for granted?

Unfortunately, there's no secret formula or easy way to guarantee a great sexual connection. But some simple tips and tricks can help you improve your relationship—even if you've tried to work on this before. So here are ten ways to have more sex in marriage.

Read on and find out how to have more sex in your marriage or relationship with these practical and simple tips.

Read time: approximately 6 minutes.

10 Simple & Effective Tips on How to Have More Sex in Marriage

Start with Understanding, Not Assumptions

The truth about relationships is that sexual needs, fantasies, and drives differ greatly between individuals. Before jumping into a solution like "more sex," take a step back and talk openly with your partner. You might be surprised—what feels like a lack to you might feel overwhelming to them.

Maybe your partner thinks there's too much sex, not too little. Real change and growth happen when both of you are aligned, understand each other's desires, and can approach your sex life from a place of mutual respect and connection.

Only then can you work toward creating a healthy, fulfilling intimacy that works for both of you.

man pouring liquid on his girlfriend's body; both lying in bed

Be Clear About What You Want

If you're married or in a committed relationship, you can probably relate to what it's like to have sex without feeling as passionate or connected to your spouse as you used to.

The problem is that the root cause of this change in passion often lies within the relationship itself. Most relationships are fun and easy in their early stages - for the most part, because it is new and exciting. But when two people enter into a long-term commitment, they usually experience a drop in their desire for intimacy.

Unfortunately, many couples never really discuss this issue openly but rather chalk up their reduced desire. This makes them slowly grow apart. But when both parties work on getting to the root of their disconnection, they can restore sexual passion to their relationship.

Therefore, the first thing that you need to do is to get clear about what you want.

Although it may be uncomfortable, just sit down and talk about sex. Talk about what you lack in this department and what you want to add to your sex life.

If you need some help, you can try playing the Naughty Conversations. It is a question card game created for this reason - to allow couples to talk about sex, desires, and fantasies in a safe and fun environment.

View Naughty Conversations

Prioritize Intimacy

If you want to focus on improving your sex life in your marriage or long-term relationship, then a good idea is to prioritize intimacy.

Intimacy is one of the most important aspects of having a good sex life, but to feel connected, loved, and cared about.

First, you need to re-develop a passion for each other. You can start by casually touching and hugging your spouse or by holding hands, touching foreheads, sharing a kiss, or doing anything else that would make you feel closer to them.

Then you can work on emotional intimacy by spending quality time together and talking with each other more often.

So, intimacy is the first step in building a strong relationship, but remember that intimacy comes in many forms - from sexual to emotional and intellectual.

Ease Into It: The Power of Taking Your Time

If you want to have a better sex life with your spouse, start slow and gradually build up to new levels. Starting slowly gives you time to work up to the next level.

It doesn't mean going all the way immediately, but you should build gradually toward that level of intimacy. There are many benefits to taking it slow, from helping you both relax and connect to helping your spouse feel more comfortable and confident at the moment.

Remember, it takes a while to get to know your partner's body and sexual desires again, so don't expect yourself to be able to please your partner right away.

man kissing woman while they are laying in bed

Be Gentle With Your Partner

To keep a healthy relationship, it's essential to be respectful and kind to your partner when it comes to sex. Sex is not just physical. It's emotional too. The most important thing to do is be gentle.

It's easy to become impatient and rush the process. When you're in a hurry, you tend to jump from one position to the next without giving your partner a chance to get comfortable.

The next time you and your partner have sex, try making sure you're not in such a hurry. If you can take your time, you'll be much happier and healthier as a couple.

Make Your Partner Feel Wanted

If you can make your partner feel like the only person who matters to you, you will increase your chances of having a stronger connection and higher levels of sex.

This can be easier achieved by women (not always, of course, but most of the time), but regardless of your gender - you can express interest and desire.

To do this, ensure your partner knows that you find them desirable and exciting. Tell your partner they make your heart beat faster; dress up and invite them to date nights. Or, outright tell them that you desire them.

How To Initiate Sex

It sounds pretty self-explanatory. But we would argue that initiating sex is not the easiest thing to do when you're in a long-term relationship with someone.

When the relationship is new, taking the initiative feels natural; sometimes, even to an extent, we don't feel like taking the initiative. But unfortunately, spontaneous sex becomes less frequent as the relationship becomes older. And that goes hand in hand with taking the initiative.

Taking the initiative requires some courage and can be a little nerve-wracking for both parties involved. However, the rewards of initiating sex are worth the risk. Sex will get you closer to your partner, will strengthen your bond, and will lead to more frequent sex, all of which makes you happier.

The more you communicate honestly and openly with a partner about your needs, wants, and concerns, the more likely you are to achieve a satisfying sexual experience.

You can do it by indulging in some spicy play using one of the Sexy Games with your partner and seeing where the conversation will take you.

Man holding intimately a woman in sexy underwear

How to Keep the Spark Alive

While taking the initiative in sex is important, it's equally vital to recognize and respond to your partner's advances. When they make the first move, your reaction can spark excitement or unintentionally kill the mood—so why not lean into the fun?

That doesn't mean you should always say yes, but finding a balance is important. Consistently rejecting their advances can lead to feelings of rejection, and over time, they may stop initiating altogether, creating distance and even deeper issues in your relationship.

Instead, try to show appreciation for their effort, and if you're not in the mood, communicate with kindness and openness. It's all about keeping the connection alive without letting rejection become a habit.

man pulling off panties of a woman's legs

Revitalize Your Sex Life by Letting Go of the Past

To improve your sex life with your spouse, it's crucial to let go of any past frustrations or disappointments and start with a clean slate. Holding onto old baggage can prevent you from experiencing the intimacy you deserve.

Sometimes, it helps to remind yourself and each other of what makes your relationship unique. Be more appreciative of the little moments, and don't take everything too seriously—laughter and lightness can work wonders in the bedroom.

Though it might seem challenging, adopting a fresh, positive mindset can reignite the passion and connection in your relationship. You'll be amazed at how much things can improve when you approach each other with openness and a renewed sense of possibility.

Take Advantage of Spontaneity

It's easy to stay stuck in a rut with your partner. You could spend all day long in bed together and never have sex.

The problem with that is that sex gets boring after a while. So if you really want to have a better sex life with your spouse, you need to add some spice to your bedroom routine.

There's no better way to keep your relationship fresh than to make a few changes, especially regarding foreplay and sex.

So, to help improve the quality of your sex life, take advantage of spontaneous opportunities to have sex.

Getting comfortable being spontaneous and having spontaneous sex can lead to some incredible experiences. It doesn't take long for a sex act to become predictable if you always follow a routine.

Let go of the control and let yourself enjoy the process. After all, no one's going to judge you for having a good time.

blurred image of a couple intimately taking shower together

Go Back to Basics

You may think that the answer is always to improve on the last time. While this is true for some couples, it doesn't apply to all couples.

Some things actually get better by going back to the basics. This is because when you go back to the basics, you look at your relationship in its purest form. You remember how you got together in the first place and are returning to that mindset when having sex.

This isn't just about sex, though. It is about creating memories, establishing intimacy, building trust, and having fun. The best part about it is that it doesn't take much effort. All you need to do is to decide to make a change.

Be Willing to Try New Things

In contrary (or in addition) to going back to basics, you always should also think about new things, especially when it comes to sex.

This means that you should be willing to try new things, such as different sexual positions, sex toys for couples, and positions. Make sure that you have sex in ways that you have never done before.

If you find that something works well, try and continue doing it. Make sure that you have sex in ways that you have never done before. Then, if you find that something works well, try and continue doing it.

In other words - if you won't try it, you won't know if you like it!

woamn laying on top of a man and intimately touching his lips

Conclusion

In conclusion, sex is an act that is meant to be shared with someone special in your life, but more often than not - over time, sex can become less frequent.

But the good news is there are two ways to improve your relationship and sex life.

Remember that good (and frequent) sex is the byproduct of a healthy and loving relationship. So, when you want to have more sex with your partner, work on not only the physical aspects of your sex life but also the emotional ones.

FAQ Section:

1. How can I bring up the topic of sex with my spouse without making it uncomfortable?

Start with open and honest communication. Discuss what's working, what's missing, and what you'd like to explore together. Playing a game like Naughty Conversations can also help ease into the topic in a fun, pressure-free way.

2. How can we prioritize intimacy in our busy lives?

Focus on small moments throughout the day, like holding hands, hugging, or sharing a kiss. Schedule quality time together and prioritize emotional connection, whether through deep conversations or shared activities.

3. What if I'm not in the mood when my partner initiates sex?

You don't always have to say yes, but it's important to respond kindly. Communicate openly about your feelings, show appreciation for their effort, and suggest another time when you feel more ready.

4. How can we break out of a sexual rut?

Spontaneity is key. Try new things like different positions, sex toys, or even spontaneous moments of intimacy. Don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone and experiment with new ways to connect.

5. How do I improve our sex life if we're holding onto past issues?

Let go of past frustrations and start fresh. Focus on what makes your relationship unique, be more appreciative of each other, and keep things light. A positive mindset can work wonders for rekindling passion and intimacy.