Relationship Tips · Apr 25, 2022

How Compliments can Make or Break your Relationship

Updated: 3rd June, 2024

We all love to be praised. We love to be admired for our appearance, our cooking skills, and even our knowledge of our favorite sports teams.

In today’s busy world, where everything moves fast and real connections are difficult to come by, it’s important to know how to give and receive praise from your significant other.

That means making sure you’re doing it right—and not just when you’re around loved ones (you can use this advice to praise your family and friends too).

Learn how giving and receiving sincere compliments can really change your marriage or long-term relationship for the better, and all in all, will brighten up your life.

*Tips are not sorted in any particular order.

Read time: approximately 12 minutes.

How Compliments can Make or Break your Relationship

The Role of Compliments in Relationships

The bottom line - compliments and praise make us feel better, make us think better of ourselves, help us form a closer bond with the other person, and can even help us achieve more in life.

Biologically speaking, when humans are praised, their brains release dopamine and oxytocin, two hormones that promote positive feelings and motivation.

A study by scientists at New York University and Columbia University found that when humans are complimented, their brain releases dopamine and oxytocin, two hormones that promote positive feelings and motivation.

Biological and Psychological Impact

Compliments do more than just make us feel good; they significantly strengthen our relationships. When someone compliments us, it triggers our brain to release dopamine and oxytocin—two chemicals that make us feel thrilled and help us connect with others.

Dopamine is a little reward that encourages us to keep up the good behavior. At the same time, oxytocin makes us feel closer and more bonded with the person who complimented us. This lifts our spirits and makes us feel more loved and valued by them. So, a simple compliment can deepen a relationship by creating more trust and affection.

According to the Mayo Clinic, praise is a great way to improve relationships and enhance mood— and it can even help you get what you want in a relationship healthily.

Compliments Can Lead to Greater Intimacy Between You and Your Spouse

Giving your partner genuine compliments can profoundly impact the intimacy and connection within your relationship. A recent study highlights that when partners regularly express admiration for each other, it maintains a healthy relationship dynamic and significantly spices up their sex life.

This positive reinforcement makes both partners more receptive and joyful, facilitating easier and more enjoyable intimate experiences. Moreover, receiving praise from someone you love can increase physical closeness, enhancing affectionate gestures and interactions.

Thus, thoughtful compliments go beyond mere words, enriching the emotional and physical bonds between partners.

Compliments Enhance Sexual Intimacy

Paying compliments to your partner can significantly elevate the intimacy and frequency of your romantic encounters. Expressing admiration effectively involves more than just occasional flattery; it requires consistent, genuine appreciation for your partner's traits and contributions.

To truly enhance your sexual connection, focus on specific qualities that attract you to your partner, such as their sense of humor, kindness, or even physical features you find irresistible. Articulate these feelings in a way that feels natural and heartfelt.

For instance, telling your partner, “I love how your eyes light up when you laugh—it makes you even more irresistible to me,” can make them feel deeply valued and desired. Such personal and thoughtful compliments boost emotional and physical closeness, leading to a more vibrant and satisfying sexual relationship.

How to Give Compliments to Your Loved One?

Giving compliments to your loved one is more than just a nice gesture—it’s a powerful way to deepen your connection and show genuine appreciation.

Everyone loves to feel valued, especially by their partner. So, how can you give compliments that really hit the mark and strengthen your relationship?

Let’s dive into some simple yet effective ways to express your admiration and make your significant other feel truly seen and loved.

Know That Praise Can Come in Many Forms

Compliments can be expressed in both verbal and non-verbal forms, each having a significant impact on strengthening relationships.

Verbal compliments are direct and clear, ranging from praising a partner's achievements to admiring their physical appearance or character traits. Saying things like, "You cooked an amazing meal tonight!" or "You have such a kind heart" can boost your partner's morale and self-esteem.

Conversely, nonverbal compliments include actions like a warm smile, a thoughtful gesture, or an appreciative touch. These can communicate admiration and support without words, often resonating on a deeper emotional level.

Both compliments are vital, reinforcing affection and appreciation in unique and impactful ways.

Afro American couple complimenting and smiling at each other

Basic Approaches to Giving Compliments

When it comes to compliments and improving your relationship the first thing you can do is to look at the positive traits that make up your partner's personality.

You might find that there are many positive things you admire about them, or perhaps you can think of ways to be more supportive.

If you pay a little attention you may find there are a lot of good things going on. For example, if you notice that your partner is conscientious, consider giving them a nice note or present when they are doing something nice for you. Or, maybe he/she is loving and caring, appreciate it with a heartfelt thank you for being there for you.

So, find the right things that he/she can relate to, and then express your appreciation.

Learn To Admire Your Loved One

The same goes for admiration. If you detect that your partner has a high level of empathy, for example, then praise them for being so understanding.

A compliment can be as simple as telling them how much you appreciate them, or it could be something more specific like "You did a good job with the grocery shopping".

You could even try and make them as specific as possible. For example, if your partner is an artist, say something like "I really enjoyed the painting you did last week. It was so colorful and detail-oriented. You truly told a story there." rather than just saying "It was great."

This will show you care, and appreciate your partner.

Couple smiling at each other and drinking wine

Praise Your Loved Ones' Weaknesses Too (But Carefully)

If you have observed that your partner has a quirk, you could try to accept it and change it to a positive, too.

Perhaps they like to gossip or maybe they don't like their figure, in which case you can praise them for how much they care about others and remind them how much you love their appearance.

When you give a compliment you can also try to show that you mean it, by using words such as "I think" and "I feel" to emphasize your point.

But be careful, as it is not a good thing to praise a truly bad behavior, because it would suggest to them that their bad actions are actually good. So, use this on their weaknesses, not their bad habits.

Don't Focus On The Negatives

We're always on the lookout for ways to improve our lives and relationships, and a key component of that is noticing the positive aspects of the people in our lives.

But when we're constantly focusing on the bad stuff, it's hard to see what's going right. So when you want to encourage someone, make sure you praise them for something that they've done right.

It's easy to point out things that your partner is not good at. But it's also easy to detect what they are good at, too.

So if you're trying to be positive, start by noticing what's going well, and praise that.

Know That You Can Improve at Giving Compliments

As a small addition to previous sections, remember you can start small and then improve.

Start by saying "I love you" more often, and then add something to create it as an appreciation, like tell her/him that you love how they take care of the kids.

30 Compliments For Men

Every time I see you, I notice how good you always look.
You have beautiful eyes.
You have such big, strong arms.
You are very athletic.
You smell magnificent.
You are so handsome.
You are my lover, my best friend, my everything.
I love spending time with you.
When you listen to me, I feel so heard and loved.
I love it when you just reach out for my hand out of the blue.
You never fail in putting a smile on my face.
Everything about you is sexy.
I appreciate everything that you do for me.
I love being wrapped up in your sexy arms.
Spending time with you is always a thrill in my heart.
You really know how to make me laugh.
I can’t help but smile around you.
There's something about you that really turns me on.
You seem to know how to fix everything.
I am so proud of you.
You are the best father to our children.
You’re amazing at everything you do.
I know that you can accomplish anything that you put your mind to.
You’re always learning new things and trying to improve yourself. That’s amazing!
Conversations with you are the best.
I learn so much from you!
I love how open-minded you are.
You have such a kind heart. You are a born leader.
You are so smart.
You are a quick thinker.

Couple flirting while the man kisses her hand

30 Compliments For Women

You’re beautiful.
You look so sexy today!
You're perfect for me.
Your presence is important.
You make my heart race!
You have such a big heart.
You’re really great with kids.
I am really impressed with how passionate you are.
When I’m around you, I’m the best possible version of myself.
You’re so good at remembering everything.
You inspire me.
Your most genuine and meaningful trait is attention to detail.
You are an amazing wife and mom!
You’ve taught me so much.
What would I do without you?
You always know just what to say to make someone else laugh.
I always love spending time around you because you have such creative ideas.
I love how you are willing to help someone out.
I feel happy when I am around you.
You are the best gift I have ever had.
I love what you're doing in bed these days!
You look great today.
How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?
Nobody makes me happier than you.
You have such good taste.
Your hair looks amazing today!
You are my everything!
You take my breath away.
How do you look so beautiful all the time?
You're the prettiest woman in the room!

couple laughing together while laying on the floor

15 Funny Compliments

You’re like a corner piece of a jigsaw puzzle. Without you, I would be lost.
I don’t know how I would get the pickle jars open without your big muscles.
You know, you’re almost as wonderful as cake. Almost.
In a world full of bagels, you’re a doughnut.
Talking to you is the best part of my day, aside from when I'm sleeping and when I'm eating.
You might be the primary reason for global warming. Because you are HOT.
I know this is corny, but you are a-maize-ing!
You could never be ice cream. Because you make me melt.
You were cool way before hipsters were cool.
I don't know why, but when you do embarrassing things, I find it very sexy.
You’re so hot, I want to bake cookies on you.
You’re definitely not someone who I pretend not to see in public.
You are perfectly imperfect. And that’s just perfect.
On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re an 11.
No one is quite like you. You’re one of a kind!

Why Do I Struggle to Give Compliments to My Partner?

Many people find it challenging to give compliments, even to someone as close as a partner. This struggle often stems from deep-seated fears of rejection or the worry that their words won't be received well. For some, past experiences where emotional vulnerability was met with indifference or negativity might inhibit their willingness to express positive feelings openly.

Furthermore, societal norms and personal insecurities can complicate this expression. Suppose you're someone who generally has difficulty recognizing your achievements. In that case, it is equally challenging to vocalize appreciation for others.

Recognizing this as a common issue, starting small and practicing is important. Remember, sincerity is key—your partner will likely appreciate your genuine efforts to express your feelings, regardless of how polished they may seem.

In Conclusion

The truth is that when it comes to giving praise to someone else, it’s not something that comes easily to us. Most of us are afraid of being perceived as “flattering” and therefore often fail to praise others.

So, if you don’t know where to start when it comes to complimenting others, then you are probably not the only one. This article is the perfect starting place for learning how to admire others effectively.

We're pretty sure you will find out that it’s not nearly as hard as you may have thought.

As always, feel free to read other relationship tips and look around our store to find some thoughtful and sexy gifts for couples.

FAQ Section

1. Why are compliments important in a relationship?

Compliments play a crucial role in a relationship by making individuals feel appreciated, loved, and valued. They can boost self-esteem, strengthen the bond between partners, and enhance intimacy. Compliments also release positive hormones like dopamine and oxytocin, promoting happiness and a deeper connection.

2. Can compliments really affect intimacy and sexual satisfaction in a relationship?

Yes, compliments can significantly impact intimacy and sexual satisfaction in a relationship. Research has shown that admiration can lead to a more enjoyable sex life, as it puts partners into a "pleasure mode," making sex more enjoyable and orgasms stronger. Couples who frequently compliment each other tend to have sex more often and report higher satisfaction levels.

3. How can I give compliments effectively to my loved one?

To give compliments effectively, ensure they are sincere and specific and focus on positive traits or actions. Start with basic acknowledgments of your partner's personality or actions. Express admiration for their qualities, and remember to appreciate their efforts, even in areas they might feel insecure about. Remember, how you deliver the compliment—verbally or non-verbally—matters as much as the content.

4. What are some tips for couples who struggle to express physical affection and compliments due to shyness or past negative experiences?

For couples who struggle with this, communication is key. Discussing comfort levels, desires, and boundaries can help both partners feel more at ease. Starting with small gestures of affection and gradually building up as confidence grows is effective. Additionally, using playful tools like compliment games or question games can create a fun and low-pressure way to start expressing more affection and admiration for each other.