Relationship Tips · Apr 25, 2022

How Compliments can Make or Break your Relationship

We all love to be praised. We love to be admired for our appearance, our cooking skills, and even our knowledge of our favorite sports teams.

In today’s busy world, where everything moves fast and real connections are difficult to come by, it’s important to know how to give and receive praise to your significant other.

That means making sure you’re doing it right—and not just when you’re around loved ones (you can use this advice to praise your family and friends too).

Learn how giving and receiving sincere compliments can really change your marriage or long-term relationship for the better, and all in all, will brighten up your life.

*Tips are not sorted in any particular order.

Read time: approximately 12 minutes.

How Compliments can Make or Break your Relationship

Why do we need compliments at all?

The bottom line - compliments and praise make us feel better, make us think better of ourselves, help us form a closer bond with the other person, and can even help us achieve more in life.

Biologically speaking, when humans are praised, their brain releases dopamine and oxytocin, two hormones that promote positive feelings and motivation.

A study by scientists at New York University and Columbia University found that when humans are complimented, their brain releases dopamine and oxytocin, two hormones that promote positive feelings and motivation.

Let us elaborate a little more

As humans, we are interconnected, social beings, so it is natural for us to look for feedback and opinions from others.

So, we are very adept at picking up on the words and actions of others and analyzing the results.

And in order to feel attractive, loved, and accepted, we naturally look for positive feedback i.e. praise. We are able to discern the emotions behind praise and gauge the quality of the praise and approval we get.

We take in the feedback and adjust our self-image accordingly. As a result, a simple nice thing you say to your significant other (and vice versa) can have huge, positive results.

According to the Mayo Clinic, praise is a great way to improve relationships and enhance mood— and it can even help you get what you want in a relationship in a healthy way.

Compliments can lead to greater intimacy between you and your spouse

Most people know that admiration is a great way to keep your relationship healthy.

But a new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships shows that they are also great for your sex life.

Experts have found that admiration tends to put lovers into a “pleasure mode” that makes sex easier and more fun.

Even more surprising is that praise from your partner also works to increase your physical affection towards each other.

Admiration makes sex more enjoyable and orgasms stronger

The research also showed that couples who are complimenting each other have sex more often than those who aren’t.

According to the experts, this is because praise makes sex more enjoyable for both parties in the relationship (hence, the improved intimacy).

For example, one person might say something nice and playfully sexy before sex. The partner hearing these comments might be more aroused and feel more sexually motivated.

On top of that, it feels even better when being praised by your partner. A study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that lovers who are complimented by their partner have stronger orgasms than those who are not.

So, there is a lot to benefit from complementing each other. From just feeling better and building a stronger bond to having more sex and more orgasms.

How to give compliments to your loved one?

So, we know that one of the most effective ways to strengthen relationships with your spouse is to compliment and treat them as you would want to be treated yourself.

They help us gain self-confidence and a deep sense of security. So, how to do it right?

Here are some simple ways to express praise to your significant other.

Know that praise can come in many forms

You might be surprised to hear that compliments come in many forms.

There are verbal compliments like, “You look beautiful today.”, “You make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.”, and “You make me feel like I’m the luckiest man on earth.”

These are just some of the ways women and men flatter and compliment each other, and you can see many more examples by scrolling down in this article.

There are also nonverbal compliments like a gentle pat on the back, a hug, or eye contact.

No matter, if you do it verbally, or non-verbally, what truly matters is that you make it sincere and genuine.

Afro American couple complimenting and smiling at each other

Start at the very basics

When it comes to compliments and improving your relationship the first thing you can do is to look at the positive traits that make up your partner's personality.

You might find that there are many positive things you admire about them, or perhaps you can think of ways to be more supportive.

If you pay a little attention you may find there are a lot of good things going on.

For example, if you notice that your partner is conscientious, consider giving them a nice note or present when they are doing something nice for you.

Or, maybe he/she is loving and caring, appreciate it with a heartfelt thank you for being there for you.

So, find the right things that he/she can relate to, and then express your appreciation.

Learn to admire your loved one

The same goes for admiration. If you detect that your partner has a high level of empathy, for example, then praise them for being so understanding.

A compliment can be as simple as telling them how much you appreciate them, or it could be something more specific like "You did a good job with the grocery shopping".

You could even try and make them as specific as possible. For example, if your partner is an artist, say something like "I really enjoyed the painting you did last week. It was so colorful and detail-oriented. You truly told a story there." rather than just saying "It was great."

This will give your partner the chance to appreciate their work.

Couple smiling at each other and drinking wine

Praise your loved ones' weaknesses too (but carefully)

If you have observed that your partner has a quirk, you could try to accept it and change it to a positive, too.

Perhaps they like to gossip or maybe they don't like their figure, in which case you can praise them for how much they care about others and remind them how much you love their appearance.

When you give a compliment you can also try to show that you mean it, by using words such as "I think" and "I feel" to emphasize your point.

But be careful, as it is not a good thing to praise a truly bad behavior, because it would suggest to them that their bad actions are actually good. So, use this on their weaknesses, not their bad habits.

Don't focus on the negatives

We're always on the lookout for ways to improve our lives and relationships, and a key component of that is noticing the positive aspects of the people in our lives.

But when we're constantly focusing on the bad stuff, it's hard to see what's going right. So when you want to encourage someone, make sure you praise them for something that they've done right.

It's easy to point out things that your partner is not good at. But it's also easy to detect what they are good at, too.

So if you're trying to be positive, start by noticing what's going well, and praise that.

Know that you can improve at giving compliments

As a small addition to previous sections, remember you can start small and then improve.

Start by saying "I love you" more often, and then add something to create it as an appreciation, like tell her/him that you love how they take care of the kids.

30 Compliments for men

Every time I see you, I notice how good you always look.
You have beautiful eyes.
You have such big, strong arms.
You are very athletic.
You smell magnificent.
You are so handsome.
You are my lover, my best friend, my everything.
I love spending time with you.
When you listen to me, I feel so heard and loved.
I love it when you just reach out for my hand out of the blue.
You never fail in putting a smile on my face.
Everything about you is sexy.
I appreciate everything that you do for me.
I love being wrapped up in your sexy arms.
Spending time with you is always a thrill in my heart.
You really know how to make me laugh.
I can’t help but smile around you.
There's something about you that really turns me on.
You seem to know how to fix everything.
I am so proud of you.
You are the best father to our children.
You’re amazing at everything you do.
I know that you can accomplish anything that you put your mind to.
You’re always learning new things and trying to improve yourself. That’s amazing!
Conversations with you are the best.
I learn so much from you!
I love how open-minded you are.
You have such a kind heart. You are a born leader.
You are so smart.
You are a quick thinker.

Couple flirting while the man kisses her hand

30 Compliments for women

You’re beautiful.
You look so sexy today!
You're perfect for me.
Your presence is important.
You make my heart race!
You have such a big heart.
You’re really great with kids.
I am really impressed with how passionate you are.
When I’m around you, I’m the best possible version of myself.
You’re so good at remembering everything.
You inspire me.
Your most genuine and meaningful trait is attention to detail.
You are an amazing wife and mom!
You’ve taught me so much.
What would I do without you?
You always know just what to say to make someone else laugh.
I always love spending time around you because you have such creative ideas.
I love how you are willing to help someone out.
I feel happy when I am around you.
You are the best gift I have ever had.
I love what you're doing in bed these days!
You look great today.
How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?
Nobody makes me happier than you.
You have such good taste.
Your hair looks amazing today!
You are my everything!
You take my breath away.
How do you look so beautiful all the time?
You're the prettiest woman in the room!

couple laughing together while laying on the floor

15 Funny Compliments

You’re like a corner piece of a jigsaw puzzle. Without you, I would be lost.
I don’t know how I would get the pickle jars open without your big muscles.
You know, you’re almost as wonderful as cake. Almost.
In a world full of bagels, you’re a doughnut.
Talking to you is the best part of my day, aside from when I'm sleeping and when I'm eating.
You might be the primary reason for global warming. Because you are HOT.
I know this is corny, but you are a-maize-ing!
You could never be ice cream. Because you make me melt.
You were cool way before hipsters were cool.
I don't know why, but when you do embarrassing things, I find it very sexy.
You’re so hot, I want to bake cookies on you.
You’re definitely not someone who I pretend not to see in public.
You are perfectly imperfect. And that’s just perfect.
On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re an 11.
No one is quite like you. You’re one of a kind!

In conclusion

The truth is that when it comes to giving praise to someone else, it’s not something that comes easily to us. Most of us are afraid of being perceived as “flattering” and therefore often fail to praise others.

So, if you don’t know where to start when it comes to complimenting others, then you are probably not the only one. This article is the perfect starting place for learning how to admire others effectively.

We're pretty sure you will find out that it’s not nearly as hard as you may have thought.