How to Keep the Passion Alive After Having a Baby

When a new baby comes into your relationship – it is a truly magical time to become new parents, but with a new baby comes not only the joy and love, but also challenges, and headaches.

Most parents will agree that it does not become much easier when your baby grows up and becomes a toddler. 

And, as new parents know all too well, keeping the affection, romance, and sex life alive can be a constant struggle. 

When it comes to keeping affection alive after having a baby, some couples are excited by the new responsibilities of parenthood, so their passion does not take a significant kick. 

But others feel overwhelmed by the idea of having to juggle the roles of both parents taking care of their child while still maintaining the everyday tasks. It is no surprise that with it, their sexual life suffers as well. 

Regardless of where you fall in the spectrum, it’s important to consider the unique needs of each couple. It’s also crucial to have open and honest discussions about what you can do together as a couple. 

When you're new at this whole parenting thing, it can feel like everything's out of control. That's why you need this easy guide to keep your attachment and sex life alive after a baby is born.


So, read on and find out some simple yet effective tips you can do to keep the passion alive and strong in your relationship after the baby comes into your life.

*Tips are not sorted in any particular order. These tips mostly apply to parents with newborns and toddlers.

Read time: approximately 10 minutes.

How to Keep the Passion Alive After Having a Baby


1.   Be Open and Honest with Your Partner About Your Sex Life

What can you do to keep the affection and sex life alive after a baby? First, being honest with your husband/wife about your sex life is vital.

Be open and honest about what you want and need from your other half, as well as about any issues you may be having with intimacy. Talk about your fears, desires, and needs in your relationship or marriage.
You could even start a conversation by playing a game. In this way your communication would be “moderated” in a safe, playful environment. 
Then talk openly about your worries and concerns about your intimate relationship.

2.    Find Your Way Back to Sexual Intimacy

The truth is that many couples experience difficulty rekindling their desire to have sex after their transition from being two to, then suddenly, - being three! 

There's the added problem of getting back into a routine that feels normal, given that sex was once a frequent part of life but is now often a rarity. 

After the child comes into your life, you have to “learn” everything over again: romance, seduction, foreplay, sex. 

When it comes to sex, there really are not many shortcuts – you just have to connect with your spouse and do things more. 

Give more hugs, kiss more, tell more compliments, go on dates, rekindle the romance and try to enjoy those few moments alone, when the baby is sleeping or a relative is babysitting them and you can let go of being a parent for a moment and being a husband and wife.

Keeping the passion after having a baby

3.   Have More Intimate Moments with Your Partner

If you want to keep a relationship thriving after having a baby, you need to make sure you spend time together just the two of you. Yes, it is easier said than done, but it is possible. 

According to research by Dr. Pepper Schwartz. She says it's important to keep your relationship and marriage going, but also to have sweet fondness and closeness because a sense of intimacy makes for a more loving and caring couple and family altogether. 

When we talk about intimate moments, we mean being completely present, really listening, and doing things together without distractions, such as work emails, social media, or kids. 

It means being open to making your relationship or marriage stronger and to spending more time in each other’s company. 

How to do it? Try to put the baby to sleep a bit earlier and be prepared to then spend some quality time together. Yes, you might be tired, but postponing spending sweet and intimate moments with your husband or wife, will only make you less happy and more tired in the long run. 

The key is that while you should spend time with your significant other alone, you should always be ready to switch gears to being intimate.

4.   Make the Most of Your Sexual Energy

I think a lot of women feel like they don't have energy, and they might feel like their sexual energy is gone because they haven't been in a state of arousal in months.

And in turn the men feel being left in sidelines, and their sexual needs being put as an afterthought. And all this of course, can create frustration in both sides.
When it comes to keeping the passion alive, the good news is that just because you had a baby, doesn’t mean you need to stop getting turned on.
It's not that there isn't any sexual energy, but there's a difference between being excited and aroused and having sexual energy.
It might help to understand why this happens so you can harness this sexual energy and channel it into something productive.
Find the right way that works in your relationship – maybe, that is scheduling an evening meant for getting intimate, or you can somehow delegate the daily tasks, so both of you don’t feel overtired, or is it something else for you.
It is best to talk it out and find, what works for you.

Asian couple siting on bed while the man hugs the woman

Quick tips on how to help your partner feel sexy for you

There are many ways to get your loved one sexually excited and to keep her feeling sexy all the time. 

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know how to turn your other half on, but sure, it is also not as simple as one would want.  

Be a bit creative and find out what they like. Ask questions about her sexual preferences, say compliments, appreciate her, and don't be afraid to share your own feelings. 

You’ll find out what turns her on very quickly if you try something new. Don’t be afraid to experiment and it’s okay to play with your partner’s body and tease her, but don’t be rough. 

You have to find the right way that works in your relationship or marriage – that is scheduling a night to connect, offering to take care of family dinner, or you can change the daily tasks, so both of you don’t feel overtired, or other things you would love that your spouse would do for you.

sex after having a baby

5.   Plan Sex Like There’s no Tomorrow

Although spontaneous sex is fun and exciting, the truth is that after having a baby it just becomes more difficult to do, and it’s human nature to procrastinate - after all, sex is fun, but it takes an effort. Quite often, if left unchecked, the lack of sex can go for months. 

Planning a romantic getaway or scheduling sex requires a lot of forethought for new parents. But it’s worth the effort. 

Think of it as a schedule rather than a random event.

Of course, if you have enough sex, and both of you are happy with it, then keep doing what you are doing, but if you are reading this article, chances are that you would like to have sex more often, so planning can be a great tool. 

Research shows that new parents who plan sex often report increased attachment and satisfaction, so planning a night away can reap rewards for your marriage. 

The first thing to remember about planning sex is that there’s no substitute for planning. 

Don’t just take sex for granted, and expect that it will just happen. Plan it out. Use tools like a calendar or a shared Google spreadsheet with the days of the week, the times that you’d like to have sex, and the nights of the week that you’d like to have sex. 

6.   Do What Feels Good

What really keeps romance and love in a relationship or marriage is knowing that you are sharing your life and your bodies together for the long run as a strong family. 

It takes work, patience, and dedication to keep the relationship or marriage great. There are many ways you can rekindle romance, and make sure you both feel great throughout this journey. 

Sex isn't all about intercourse and ejaculation. It is more about exploration, connection, mutual pleasure, and lots of kissing.
This is the time when having a sensual game or a sexy one might help change the pace and reignite the flame in the bedroom. These games can be a fun yet simple tool to spice up your love life.
At the very least you can offer your spouse to try it out, right? 

Or simply do fun things with each other. Laugh, talk, play around - that by itself might make sex more enjoyable.

man and woman in underwear laughing and being passionate in bed

7.   Don't be afraid to ask for a little help

Yes, it is true that the new human that came into your life is your responsibility, and you as parents are the ones who need to take care of him/her. BUT that does not mean you cannot ask for help. 

Actually, it is extremely important for your well-being to ask for help. Firstly, ask your spouse to help out with the things you cannot deal with.  

Then most likely you have some family members (your parents, siblings, cousins) that could babysit at least a couple of times per month.  

If not, then you could turn to your friends in the local community. You could be pleasantly surprised, at how much others are willing to help out if asked nicely.

8.   Play the New-Parent Game

The New-Parent Game is exactly what it sounds like – it is a game created particularly for new parents. Its intent is to make the lives of new parents better, and also bring back the spark into their relationship or marriage.

The game has 30 Coupon cards and 20 Surprise cards, and 10 Blank ones for your imagination. The cards are the perfect mix of allowing you and your partner to reduce the daily stress of having a baby, with letting them know how much you love them. 

You can choose to play this game as a fun activity to keep things lighthearted, or you can use it as a tool to improve your relationship or marriage. This game is great for new parents, married couples, and parents who need to communicate better. 

New parents are often stressed out and overwhelmed when they first become parents. This game will help them feel more relaxed, and in turn, their relationship or marriage will improve. 

A fun way to introduce new parents to the world of parenting! If you need to communicate better with your partner or with other people in your life, this is the perfect game for you. 

Game for new parents

9.   Be Open to New Ideas

How do you keep the romantic affection in your relationship or marriage? Do you feel like it’s easy to lose interest and stop wanting to try new things after having a child? 

We know it might be hard at first, but you still want to make sure that you are having great sex with your partner. 

If you put a bit of effort into it and are open to new ideas, there’s no reason that you should be struggling with finding that sexual spark again. 

All it takes is some new ways of thinking about the way you and your partner can enjoy yourself again. 

There’s no need to feel like you have to limit the way that you are having sex because you are a mother or father. For example, you could try new positions, new places to have sex, or even try BDSM!
See this as an opportunity for something new, talk it out, and start exploring again! 

10.   Keep the Romance Alive

Sexual intimacy and romance truly go hand in hand. If the romance dies, the sexual tension falls as well.

We've all seen the movies (and read the books), where couples have a hard time keeping the romance alive after having a baby. Sometimes that can lead to some serious fights over whose turn it is to take out the trash or even worse.

But there's a secret to keeping the romance alive after having a baby. It's simple: first, give and take. In other words, when you become a parent, make sure you make time for each other. 

It means trying to help each other out, being appreciative, supportive, and also understanding. Transitioning into the status of a parent is by no means a small life event for both of you, so try to understand it can be challenging for you and your partner. 

Don't forget about dating, staycations, date nights, or even short vacations without your child, we promise it will do wonders for your relationship and marriage. Leave your small human with a babysitter (maybe, your friends want to help out), and have a few hours for only two of you.

Romance and passion after having a baby

In conclusion

Having a child in your family is a big deal, it truly changes so many things. Yes, for some it is easier, but the truth is that many new parents struggle with this transition, and that includes your sexual life as well. 

Good sex life is essential for a happy relationship and marriage. And a happy relationship is essential for good sex life, so even after the baby comes, it is very important to keep an eye, on if you both are happy and have enough sex. 

So, the most important thing to remember is that you need to work on your affection and sex life after having a baby with your partner. 

This article talks about different ways to spice up the bedroom after having a baby, and hopefully, it provided you with some tips on how you can keep your fondness and sex life thriving. 

As always, feel free to read other relationship tips and look around our store to find some thoughtful and sexy gifts for couples.

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