Flirting as a Form of Foreplay: Why it Matters for Your Sex Life

Updated: July 5th, 2024

Are you tired of routine in your sex life? Have you ever considered that the key to a fulfilling sexual experience might not just be the main event but the lead-up as well? That's where flirting comes in. 
Flirting is a way of expressing attraction and interest toward your lover through playful or suggestive behavior. It can be a form of communication that builds intimacy and sexual tension, making it an essential part of a satisfying sexual experience
But where does flirting fit in? Flirting can be a form of nonverbal foreplay that builds sexual tension, creating anticipation for what's to come. The playful banter, longing glances, and teasing touches make the heart race and the body tingle. And when done right, flirting can be the perfect prelude to something much more intense.


This article will explore the science of flirting and how it relates to foreplay. We'll also discuss the benefits of incorporating flirting into your foreplay routine and provide tips and examples for how to do it effectively. 

Read time - approximately 7 minutes.


Flirting as a Form of Foreplay: Why it Matters for Your Sex Life


The Science of Flirting

When you flirt with your spouse, it's not just a fun way to pass the time - it can actually make you feel really good! 
Flirting can release hormones in your brain that make you feel happy, excited, and even a little addicted. And it's not just your brain that benefits - flirting can also help you feel more confident and connected to the person you're flirting with.
Studies have shown that flirting can increase your attraction to your lover and make you more interested in them. It can also reduce stress and anxiety and make you feel happier overall.
That's because flirting releases hormones like dopamine, which makes you feel good, and oxytocin, which creates a sense of trust and emotional connection.
So, don't hold back the next time you feel like flirting! It's not just a harmless bit of fun - it could actually help you build a deeper connection with the person you're flirting with and make you feel better overall.


a couple flirting in a cafe

Flirting as Foreplay

Foreplay is often seen merely as a warm-up to sex, but it holds a much deeper significance. According to Dr. Ian Kerner, a sex therapist and the author of She Comes First, "Foreplay is the bridge to a fulfilling sexual experience. It's about building intimacy, trust, and anticipation."1 Indeed, foreplay is an essential component of sexual satisfaction, enhancing the emotional and physical connection between partners.

Flirting, as a form of nonverbal foreplay, plays a pivotal role in this process. It builds sexual tension and excites both partners for what's to come. A sexologist and relationship expert, Dr. Nikki Goldstein explains, "Flirting can reignite the spark in a relationship. It's a playful way to express interest and desire, keeping the passion alive." 2

By engaging in flirtatious behaviors, you can create a sense of anticipation that intensifies the sexual experience.

Flirting is also an effective way to communicate desires and preferences without words. A lingering touch or a suggestive glance can convey desire and build a connection that words sometimes cannot.

How to Build Sexual Tension in Your Relationship?

Use eye contact

Making eye contact with your partner can be a powerful way to build intimacy and sexual tension. Look at them deeply and hold their gaze for a few seconds – it can make both of you feel more connected and aroused.

Be playful

Flirting should be fun! Playfully tease your partner or make a joke to break the tension and create a more relaxed atmosphere. Just keep it balanced and don't overdo it so it becomes a chore or pressuring.

Use touch

A light touch on the arm or a brush of the hand can be a subtle way to build sexual tension. It can also communicate your desire and interest in your partner.

Be confident

Confidence is key when it comes to flirting. Don't be afraid to take the lead and make the first move – it can be a huge turn-on for your partner. 

Use suggestive language

If you're comfortable with it, use suggestive language to communicate your desires. It can be a great way to build anticipation and excite both of you for what's to come. It can be something as vanilla as calling your unique someone cute or sexy names, making funny yet suggestive jokes, or even talking dirty to them.

Try dirty talk

You can try incorporating dirty talk into your flirting arsenal if you want to go further. Just know that it is not for everyone, so start slow.

a young couple laying in bed, flirting, and laughing

The Benefits of Flirting as Foreplay 

We can attest to the incredible benefits of incorporating flirting as foreplay into your sexual relationship. 
Firstly, flirting can increase sexual satisfaction for both partners by building anticipation and sexual tension. This can lead to a more pleasurable and intense sexual experience for both you and your partner.
Secondly, flirting can lead to increased intimacy and emotional connection between partners. When you flirt, you communicate your desire and interest in them, which can build trust and a more profound sense of connection.
Lastly, flirting can help reduce stress and increase relaxation during sex. By focusing on the pleasure and the moment, you can let go of any stress or anxiety you may be feeling and fully enjoy the experience.
a couple smiling at each other and being flirty

Incorporate Flirting in Foreplay

Flirting can be a fantastic tool for building up sexual tension between you and as a means to have a great foreplay experience. 

Here are our tips to help you incorporate flirting into your foreplay routine:

Start small - Don't be afraid to start with a simple sexy compliment or touch and build from there.

Take your time - Foreplay shouldn't be rushed, so take your time and enjoy the moment.

Use humor - Laughter is a great way to create a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere, so use humor to lighten the mood and make your partner feel at ease.

Use props - Incorporate props like sensual pleasure ties, feathers, or ice cubes to add a new dimension to your flirting and foreplay.

Use your imagination - Don't be afraid to get creative and use your imagination to come up with new and exciting ways to flirt and play with your partner. The possibilities are endless!

Play a Sexy Couple's Game - Games like the Foreplay Game are games for couples with 50 flirty and sexy activities to get your evening started.


a man in white shirt is flirting and surprising his woman; the woman is wearing a red dress

Flirty Gestures and Activities to Try During Foreplay

Kissing and nibbling

Start kissing your partner's neck or lips and gradually increase the intensity. Nibbling or gently biting can add a playful edge to the experience.



A  sensual massage can be a great way to relax your partner and build sexual tension. Use scented oils and gentle touches to create a romantic and erotic atmosphere. Just don't forget to use a quality massage oil.



Role-playing can be a fun way to explore your fantasies and create a new dynamic with your partner. 

Try dressing up or acting out different scenarios to add some excitement to your foreplay. For role-play, ideas, try playing the Naughty Scenarios.



Dancing can be a great way to get in the mood and build intimacy with your partner. Slow dancing or grinding can be particularly sensual and arousing.



If you're not in the same location as your partner, sexting can be a great way to build anticipation and keep the sexual tension going. Use suggestive language and share photos or videos to keep the spark alive.
young couple cuddling in bed


Incorporating flirting into your foreplay routine can be a game-changer in your sexual relationship. Not only does it increase attraction and sexual desire, but it also leads to more intimacy and emotional connection. 
By using playful gestures and activities, you can build sexual tension and create a more exciting and fulfilling experience for both you and your partner.
So, don't be afraid to experiment and try out different flirty techniques during foreplay. Remember to communicate openly and honestly with your partner and pay attention to their responses to make sure you're both comfortable and enjoying the experience.
In the end, the benefits of flirting as foreplay in your sex life are clear - increased satisfaction, intimacy, and relaxation. 
So why not give it a try and see how it can enhance your sexual experiences with your partner? Trust us. It'll be worth it!

As always, feel free to read other relationship tips and look around our store to find some thoughtful and sexy gifts for couples.

FAQ Section:

1. How does flirting improve foreplay and sexual satisfaction?

Flirting builds anticipation and sexual tension, making the lead-up to sex much more exciting and fulfilling. Playful banter, eye contact, and suggestive language stimulate attraction and make partners feel desired, leading to a more pleasurable and intense experience during foreplay and intimacy. This connection heightens emotional bonds and creates an environment where both partners feel appreciated and craved.

2. What if I'm not confident about flirting with my partner?

Confidence comes with practice! Start small with simple, playful compliments or light touches. Focus on what makes your partner smile and feel good, and build from there. Keep the atmosphere lighthearted, and remember that the goal is to enjoy playfully teasing each other, not to achieve perfection.

3. What if my partner and I feel awkward incorporating flirting into our foreplay?

Feeling awkward initially is normal, especially if flirting isn't a regular part of your routine. Start with familiar gestures like holding eye contact or playful teasing, and gradually introduce new elements like suggestive language or playful touches. Take time to understand each other's comfort levels and preferences, and focus on having fun together.

4. What practical ways to flirt with my partner during foreplay?

Use eye contact to build intimacy, tease them with playful jokes, and lightly touch their arm or hand. Compliment your partner in suggestive ways and use pet names that make them blush. For more adventurous couples, try sexy games, role-playing, or experimenting with new props like massage oils or sensual pleasure ties to add layers to your flirtation.



1. Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT,

2. Dr Nikki Goldstein,


Related topics:

7 Reasons And Best Situations When to Play the Foreplay Game

The meaning of foreplay and most common questions answered 

- 10 foreplay activities that will drive your partner wild

- Importance of sex in a healthy relationship

7 Simple Steps to Make Your Partner Feel Incredibly Desired

Empowering Your Intimacy: A Guide to Boosting Sexual Confidence


- Play Feel Love -

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