Why You Need to Schedule Sex (And How to Do It Right)

Updated: 11 April, 2024

Sex is an essential part of any healthy romantic relationship. It sets a romantic relationship apart from a platonic one, right? Yet, with the constant demands of daily life, it's easy for sex to get pushed to the bottom of the priority list. 

That's why we want to share with you the benefits of scheduling sex. It is something that many couples may frown upon but can make a big positive difference in their sex lives and relationships. 
So, let's dive in and talk about why scheduling sex can be a game-changer for your sex life!
Read time: approximately 7 minutes.

Why You Need to Schedule Sex (And How to Do It Right)


Why Proper Planning is the Key to Mind-Blowing Sex

Many people believe that sex should be spontaneous, and scheduling it takes away passion and excitement. However, we believe that scheduling sex is not only beneficial, but it can actually enhance your sex life.
Let's start by addressing the common misconceptions about scheduling sex. Some people feel that scheduling sex is not romantic and takes away from the excitement of being intimate. 
However, scheduling sex doesn't have to be boring or regimented. Instead, it can be a way to prioritize intimacy and make it a regular part of your routine. Likewise, scheduling sex doesn't mean you have to stick to a strict timetable, or it will be a dull experience.  
Now let's dive deeper into why scheduling sex can be good for your relationship.
young couple laying in bed and looking at their phones; both being amused

Ensure Intimacy Despite Busy Schedules

Setting aside dedicated time for each other, especially for intimacy, is crucial. Scheduling sex might sound unromantic, but it's a practical approach that busy couples can take to ensure they don't neglect this fundamental aspect of their relationship.

It's not just about keeping the physical connection alive; it's about valuing each other's needs and showing commitment to the relationship's health. This deliberate prioritization helps build anticipation, allows couples to prepare mentally and emotionally, and can make those moments together more meaningful and focused.

By planning these intimate encounters, you create little retreats from daily stress, which can deepen your bond and enhance your emotional and physical connection.

Reduce Pressure and Anxiety Around Sex

When sex is spontaneous, some people may feel anxious or worried about whether they both are in the mood. Maybe one of the partners is being pressured.

For women in relationships who may feel pressure or anxiety around spontaneous intimacy, scheduling time for sex can be a game-changer. This approach ensures that both partners are prepared and eager, making the experience more enjoyable and less stressful.

It also offers a chance to openly discuss expectations and desires, fostering deeper emotional connections and enhancing mutual understanding.


Create Anticipation and Excitement

When you mark your calendar for love, you're not merely planning an activity, but curating an experience—a sensual prelude that can include a candlelit dinner or a seductive massage.

This deliberate build-up not only intensifies anticipation, making every moment leading up to it charged with excitement, but also deepens the emotional and physical fulfillment. It transforms routine into ritual, and anticipation becomes the spark that can ignite an even more dynamic and satisfying sexual encounter.


Encourage Communication and Exploration Between Partners

Scheduling sex is an invitation to whisper secrets and share unspoken desires. When you pencil in pleasure, it’s like opening a confidential dialogue where both partners can reveal their deepest fantasies and boundaries.

This openness sparks curiosity and can lead you both to explore uncharted territories of pleasure together. By turning your bedroom into a playground of exploration, you not only enhance the thrill but also deepen the intimacy.

Each scheduled rendezvous becomes a titillating adventure, promising not just satisfaction but a journey into the exhilarating unknown.

couple laying on sofa and holding a tablet in front of them

How to Schedule Sex Effectively

Now that we've discussed the importance and benefits of scheduling sex in relationships let's dive into some practical tips and strategies for effectively scheduling sex.

Setting Time to Talk About Scheduling

Before you start scheduling intimacy, it's crucial to have a heart-to-heart with your partner. Choose a time when you're both relaxed and free from distractions—maybe over a lazy weekend morning coffee or during a quiet evening at home.

Approach the conversation with an open heart and a willingness to listen as much as you speak. Share why you think scheduling could enhance your connection and be clear about your desires. At the same time, give your partner space to express their feelings and any reservations.

This isn’t just about finding a mutual agreement; it’s about understanding each other’s needs and crafting a plan that feels good for both of you. This talk can strengthen your bond as you navigate the sensitive topic together.

Need Some Help in Talking About Sex?

Are you ready to ignite deeper connections and turn your relationship into a sizzling love story? Dive into "Life Conversations," a treasure trove of 100 questions designed to explore the nooks and crannies of your partnership. From your core values to your wildest dreams, these inquiries delve into the essential and the unexpected, ensuring no topic is off-limits.

Most couples skirt around pivotal discussions—don't be one of them. Misunderstandings can fester into conflict or, worse, drive couples apart. But it doesn't have to be that way!

Engage in these rich, meaningful dialogues crafted from real-life insights and relationship research, ensuring you grow closer, understand each other profoundly, and build a lasting bond. Whether you're curious about finances, family, or the finer points of passion, our questions are your gateway to a fuller, more vibrant love story.


a playful young couple looking at a planner together

Strategies for Making Scheduled Sex Enjoyable

Once you've established a sex schedule, there are several strategies you can use to make the experience enjoyable and fulfilling. 

One of the keys is to be creative and plan fun activities together. This can be anything from trying new positions, exploring role-play fantasies, or setting the mood with candles, music, or a romantic dinner. 

It's also important to be open to trying new things, which can help keep things fresh and exciting. For example, experimenting with new and sexy couple's games, positions, or toys can help break out of sexual routines and add variety to your sex life. 

However, it's important to remember that the goal of scheduled sex isn't solely to increase the quantity of sex but to improve the quality. Focusing on intimacy, connection, and mutual pleasure can help create a more fulfilling experience for both partners.


a couple sitting in bed; both looking at each other; the man is holding a tablet

Maintaining Intimacy and Connection Outside of Scheduled Sex

Keeping the spark alive goes beyond the dates on your calendar reserved for intimacy. Genuine connection flourishes in the everyday moments that stitch your lives together.

Remember, while sex is a vibrant thread in the tapestry of intimacy, it's not the only one. Embrace every opportunity for affection as your days unfold. Send a flirty text in the middle of a mundane afternoon, steal a kiss while cooking dinner together, or simply hold each other a little longer in a warm embrace.

These small acts of love and appreciation are the quiet builders of intimacy, continuously reinforcing your bond and deepening your connection. Each touch, each word of affection, weaves a stronger, more passionate relationship, ensuring you both feel cherished and connected every single day.

a young couple laying n bed with tablets in their hands

Why Good Sex Requires More Than Just Spontaneity

Even with the benefits of scheduled sex, people may have some common concerns. Let's look at a few of them and how to overcome them.
Some people worry that scheduling sex takes away from the spontaneity and passion of the experience. However, as we discussed earlier, scheduling can increase anticipation and excitement, leading to more passion and better sex
It's important to communicate with your partner and find a schedule that works for both of you. Feel free to switch things up or try something new to keep things fresh and exciting. 
Another challenge may arise when partners have different sex drives or face other obstacles that make scheduling sex difficult - like long distance relationship. In these situations, it's crucial to have open and honest communication about your needs and desires
Try to find common ground and make compromises that work for both partners. If you're having trouble finding a solution on your own, don't hesitate to seek the help of a therapist or sex coach who can provide guidance and support. 
Ultimately, the key to having good sex is to find what works best for you and your partner. Experiment with different schedules, activities, and techniques to find what brings you the most pleasure and satisfaction. 
sexy young couple being playful; the man holds the woman in his arms

Final Thoughts 

Congratulations on making it to the end of this post! We hope you've learned much about why scheduling sex can be a game-changer for your sex life and relationship.
To recap, scheduling sex can ensure intimacy despite busy schedules, reduce pressure and anxiety around sex, create anticipation and excitement, and encourage communication and exploration. 
Despite what you may have heard, scheduling sex does not have to be boring or unsexy. On the contrary, with the right approach, you can make scheduled sex as enjoyable and fulfilling as spontaneous sex.
So our call to action for you is to give scheduled sex a try! Start by communicating openly and honestly with your partner about your needs and desires, and then find a time that works for both of you. 
Get creative with your planning and try new things to keep things interesting.  By scheduling sex, you're taking an essential step towards prioritizing your sexual and emotional health in your relationship.  
Go ahead and give it a try, and see the benefits for yourself. We're confident that you won't be disappointed!


As always, feel free to read other relationship tips and look around our store to find some thoughtful and sexy gifts for couples.

FAQ Section:

1. How do we start a conversation about scheduling sex without making it feel like a chore?
Begin the conversation in a casual and relaxed environment, focusing on the benefits and pleasures of intimacy rather than obligations. Highlight how scheduling can help manage life's chaos and ensure you prioritize and enjoy your time together. Use a tone of excitement about exploring each other's desires more regularly. This is about adding to your relationship, not just ticking a box.

2. Can scheduling sex really improve our relationship if we're already struggling with intimacy issues?
Yes, scheduling sex can be particularly beneficial for couples facing intimacy issues as it creates a safe space for both partners to express their needs and desires without pressure. It helps in setting expectations clearly, reducing anxiety about when the next intimate moment will be. Scheduled sex also allows both partners to prepare mentally and emotionally, which can be crucial in overcoming intimacy barriers. However, it should be part of a broader strategy that includes open communication, mutual understanding, and perhaps professional counseling.

3. What are some creative ideas to make scheduled sex feel spontaneous and exciting?
To inject spontaneity into scheduled sex, vary the routine by changing locations and times or adding new elements like role-playing or new toys. Plan surprise elements like a new lingerie piece or a sensual massage before the actual act. Use blindfolds or playlists to enhance the sensory experience. Keeping an element of surprise within the planned sessions can capture the excitement typically associated with spontaneous sex.

4. How can we maintain the excitement about scheduled sex over a long period?
Keep the spark alive in long-term scheduled sex by regularly updating your intimate encounters based on shared fantasies and desires. Introduce themes, challenges, or games to which you can look forward. Have periodic "review" sessions where you discuss what's working and what could be improved or changed in your intimate schedule. Celebrate special occasions with extraordinary planning, like anniversaries or significant dates, to break the routine. Stay curious and open to experimenting with new practices, locations, and techniques.

- Play Feel Love -

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