Whether you want to talk dirty in bed, send sexy text messages on phone or just need some help getting started, this guide will teach you everything you need to know about being a master of this exceptional skill that will elevate your relationship.
*Tips are not sorted in any particular order.
Read time: approximately 12 minutes.
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Dirty Talk: The Ultimate Guide to Talking Dirty | And 50+ Ideas
What Is Dirty Talk?
What Can I Expect?
Is dirty talk an element of foreplay?
It is often referred to as "the language of passion," but that's only because it's a type of verbal foreplay that's used to create sexual tension and desire, and to arouse.
Sexy talk is also one of the best ways to make your partner feel sexy, and to turn him or her on - not just during night play, but in every part of their lives.
So, the bottom line - yes, it is a part of the foreplay, if used as a foreplay activity, but overall it is so much more than that.
How Should I Begin?
The first thing you should know is that dirty talk isn’t just about words. It’s about the way you use them (i.e. non-verbal cues).
Dirty talk is all about energy, and how much you put into it. Think about it this way: if you were going to take a shower with someone who didn’t know what you liked, you would have to be really clear about what you wanted.
If you’re a beginner to dirty talk, start slow, start by having an intimate chat with your significant other. Talk it out, what do you think is sexy, and fun, and what could be "too rough" for you.
Then, start by whispering softly in your partner’s ear, let your partner get used to you saying certain phrases. You can use explicit language and special words to build up to more and more intimate moments.
And then keep doing it more often. Eventually it will feel natural, and get hotter and more intense.
If you're new to the world of erotic talk and dirty text messages, here are some tips for you:
- It doesn't matter what you say, as long as you're saying it in a way that makes your other half want to hear it.
- Dirty talk can be used in many different ways to spice up the bedroom fun, bring your spouse closer to you, tease them, encourage them to do something, or even help you get aroused.
- You might not know how much your partner likes something until you ask them. Great as "a something new" into your sexual relationship.
- If you are too shy to talk in person, try using your phone and send dirty messages first.
- When you feel more confident, consider trying video chat as well.
What Can I Say?
How should it feel?
Dirty talk is all about getting the other person to feel aroused, excited, wanted and to say "Yes, I want it more".
It's about making them feel like they are the only person in the world. It's about asking for what you want and then telling them how great they are. It's about flirting and then having them flirt back.
How things feel, how things look, how things smell, how things taste, how things sound, and how things taste.
Again, how naughty, or how vanilla should it be - that depends on you and only you. Of course, you can begin light and safe, and over the time find the right sexy words and use them more.
Ease into it slowly
What Shouldn't I Say?
Sexy talk, as exciting and fun it is, can be harmful, if used incorrectly.
After you have talked out the things that you feel are not right for you, always remember that erotic talk never should be used to force anything.
Don't pressure, and don't manipulate your significant other into doing something uncomfortable.
So, if it feels uncomfortable, pressuring or just not right, change your approach. Try to do it lighter, or don't use particular triggers, or simply take a breather, talk it out, and then try it again.
Where Do I Go From Here?
Talk about desires and fantasies
You can also talk about how you want to be touched and what turns you on. You may want to use this opportunity to ask about their fantasies.
If your partner has fantasies that they would love to act out, or if they have certain things that they’d love to try, this is the time to discuss those fantasies. Would they like you to dress a certain way? What turns them on?
Would they like you to do something that turns you on? This can be a great time to get to know your partner better.
More explicit dirty talk examples and dirty text messages for your lover:
- I need you right now.
- I want you to undress me with your teeth.
- Come over. Bring handcuffs.
- I'll rip your clothes off the moment I see you.
- I get so turned on just thinking about the last time we had sex.
- I want you to slowly kiss me from my lips, down my mouth and neck, onto my breasts, and all the way down to my pussy.
- I just want to be used by you tonight. Describe what you will do to me!
- I can't wait to slide my dick inside you. Can you make me your personal toy tonight?
- I feel so weak and turned on inside.
- I want to give you the best oral sex you've ever had.
- I want to tie you up and have my way with you.
- I love feeling you in my hands!
- You dominating me is so hot!
- Describe what you will do with your mouth to me!
- I love the moment when you make me beg!
- I love when you make me beg!
- Stop talking and start fucking me!
- It makes me horny when you guide my hand down your body.
- Feeling you on top of me and in control is the most erotic thing ever!
- I can't wait until we're both alone so that I can blow your mind.
- I want to hear you say naughty words to me!
- I never want you to stop, it feels so good.
- I want you to finish wherever you like.
- I'm going to fuck you so hard when I see you.
- I love how hard you can make me come.
- Be a good little girl and spread your legs for me.
- Your tongue is magical.
- I've been looking forward to sitting on your face all day long.
- That thing you do with your mouth really makes me hot.
- I love sexting with you! Tell me a kinky story about what you will do to me tonight.
- Want to watch me strip?
- Use your words and speak up!
- I want you so bad.
- I want to strip you naked ASAP.
- I want to throw you on the bed and have my way with you.
- I want to bend you over my desk when you get here.
- You're so fucking sexy. I love it when you're naked.
- What do you want me to do to you?
- I want to feel how wet your pussy is.
- You make me so wet/hard when you moan.
- I can't wait to see your perfect lips around my dick.
- I miss the way you taste.
- I want to ride you like a pony.
- The way you're sexting me is hot. Want to show me what you mean?
- Woman! Bend over and let me enjoy this feeling!
- Do you think you can spank me hard enough to leave a mark? I've been naughty.
- What are you going to do about it?
- I can't wait to watch you scream my name.
- I'm completely naked and thinking about you. Want a video?
- Tonight I'm going to have my way with you until you're pleading for mercy.
- I want you to look in my eyes when you finish.
Few resources if you want to learn more about dirty talk
Let Us Know
Do you use dirty talk in foreplay and during sex?
Do you have favorite texts or messages?
Let us know in the comments below.