How to Help your Partner to open up (or become more open yourself)
We all want to be able to open up to someone and share our feelings, but for some this comes harder than for others. Sometimes it can be hard to open up to your partner – either it is because of his/her personality; because of some negative experience in the past, or some other reason. But being vulnerable is vital for a healthy and loving relationship. If you want open communication with your partner, it takes time and effort, but the reward is worth it.
It can be so hard to open up to someone when you have never done so, or have been hurt before. Maybe even you have experienced being cheated on or lied to in a relationship before, it might make you reluctant about sharing your feelings again. This is a risk that needs taking if your relationship is going to grow. In a healthy relationship – your partner wants to know what is on your mind – good or bad, and in return they also want to feel they can do the same. Knowing that you can be open to one another is an amazing feeling to have!
How to Help your Partner to open up (or to become more open yourself)
ASK QUESTIONSThis is an obvious suggestion, but it is so important, it just cannot be skipped.
If you want an open communication with your partner, use open-ended questions (like simple questions such as “How do you feel?; Is there anything you would like to tell me?”) to open up the conversation. Asking open-ended questions stimulates deeper thinking and encourages further conversation. When you ask open-ended questions, it is more likely that your partner will open up to you.
It can be hard to talk about certain things at first, but once one person opens up, it makes it easier for the other person to open up too. As a great conversation starter you can try our Conversation Games, each having 100 thematic questions about various topics.
BE PRESENTTo get your partner to open up, make time for each other every day. Basically, spend time together. You don't have to set aside a specific time of day or anything like that - just choose some time when neither of you is tired or busy and both of you are in a good mood. Or, of course, if punctuality is your thing, plan things ahead and schedule a date activity.
To open up to someone, we must trust the other person and one way to earn trust is to be there for that person, so spending time together while doing something fun, even so simple as going to a park or watching a movie can help open up your partner.
LEARN TO UNDERSTAND YOUR PARTNEROne of the most important ways to open up is by being empathetic. And empathy comes from understanding, and understanding comes from listening. And by listening we mean truly listening – hear what your partner has to say, listen to all the details, like tone of voice, to the words he/she chooses, and most importantly – don’t judge. If you will listen and immediately start to judge, it can make your partner immediately close up.
Although open communication is really great for your relationship, remember that it takes time and effort to be open with someone else. It isn't something that happens overnight and requires support from both parties.If you feel uncomfortable, don’t push it and take a step back, and try again later. But be sure not to post pone it over and over again. Nothing good comes out, when rushed or under pressure, but, if you want to open up, you have to start communicating eventually. Either way, communication with your partner is one of the best ways to ensure a happy future together.
FIRST, BE PATIENT, THEN - LISTEN
TRY OUR CONVERSATION GAMESJoyful Couple Conversation Games can help you open up and have meaningful conversations. Conversation Games help spark meaningful conversations that deepen your intimacy, and they help you learn how to have those tough discussions that keep love alive!
WANT TO KNOW MORE (be curious)
Sometimes there will be misunderstandings or miscommunication so approach these conversations as an opportunity to learn something new about each other - maybe they misunderstood what happened because they were tired or preoccupied at the time.
When you approach it as a learning opportunity, the conversation becomes less weighty and more about understanding, and later on – with a deeper meaning. If we express true curiosity, it is always a great signal for the other party that it is a safe environment to become more open. Just don't go over the edge, because, if you will be "too" curious, and start bombarding your partner with countless questions, it can become burdensome and feel like an interrogation. So, be curious, but don't overdo it.
Communication is key to a successful relationship, so we hope that you enjoyed these tips, and they will help you become more open with your partner, and create a stronger bond between the two of you!
If we missed anything important, please, be sure to leave comment or write us a message to firstname.lastname@example.org
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