Prepare for Presence: How to Connect with a Busy Partner
Relationships are never easy. There’s always going to be something that challenges your bond, whether it’s distance, communication issues, disloyalty, constant presence on social media, or, in this case, a lack of time.
A busy partner can be difficult to stay connected to. They’re constantly running around being almost annoyingly indispensable to their family or boss, leaving you to wonder where your place is in their life.
This separation between their external life and the one that you share together can lead to some uncomfortable feelings. You may feel excluded, rejected, or even abandoned at times. However, it’s important to remember that your partner’s busy lifestyle doesn’t define how much they love you.
It’s not about how much time you spend together. It’s about making that time count.
Let’s look at some effective, healthy ways to deepen the connection between you and your partner, no matter how demanding their schedule is.
Read time: approximately 5 minutes.
Prepare for Presence: How to Connect with a Busy Partner
1. Communicate How You Feel
First things first. Everyone deserves to have their needs met in a relationship. If your partner’s busy schedule is bothering you, communicate this to them.
They may not be aware of how much hurt they are causing you by focusing on so many other aspects of their life.
Ask your partner to set aside some time for a conversation about more respectfully managing your relationship while balancing individual responsibilities. That way, you can create a system or an agreement together that allows both of you to feel loved, appreciated, and prioritized.
2. Make Use Of Technology
While technology can drive a wedge between couples, it can also be a tool for the greater good. Partners who spend a lot of time away from home may not be able to physically hang out with you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t bond over live video, texts, and, of course, memes.
Instead of seeing your partner’s chaotic schedule as a relationship death sentence, try to see it as an opportunity for finding new ways to engage.
Staying active online can help you feel connected to one another in times of loneliness and encourage a more positive dynamic when things get tough.
3. Run Errands Together
Sometimes, you just have to find new ways to connect. If a coffee run or grocery shop is the only way you’ll get to spend quality time together during the day, take that and make the most of it.
Despite what you may think, running errands together can actually be pretty fun—and even romantic.
Take the opportunity to have a little fun, laugh at the small things, and go to places you wouldn’t ordinarily go to, introducing some much-needed playfulness and spontaneity to your relationship.
4. Ritualize Mealtimes Together
No matter how busy your partner is, time should always be made for the important things in life. And by important things, we mean eating!
Turning certain mealtimes into a daily or weekly ritual can introduce some much-needed consistency into your lives and give you the opportunity to truly connect.
Whether it's breakfast at 5am or dinner at 9pm, setting aside a specific mealtime to sit down, chat, and eat something delicious together can help whet your appetite for emotional connection.
5. Keep Yourself Busy
When the absence of your partner starts to feel too overwhelming, it might be time to start picking up your own busybody habits. While initially, it may feel like a pointless distraction, eventually small hobbies can become important components of your personal life that you derive real meaning from.
Seeing friends, going to events, trying a new sport, attending craft classes, or learning a new skill are all ways to fill up your time with equally fulfilling activities.
6. Plan Exciting Dates or Getaways
If your partner is a busybody, spontaneous dates can just about fly out of the window. To ensure that you both get to spend enough quality time together, planned dates are key.
Instead of hoping that they’re going to whisk you away for a random romantic getaway, plan it in advance so that both of you can fit it into your calendars. That way, they can guarantee their time will be dedicated to you.
7. Schedule Time Together
While we’re on the topic of scheduled mealtimes, let’s focus on scheduled quality time in general. For people who lead busy lives, a great schedule is key to keeping the peace.
By setting aside time every week to do couple-y things (yes, you should even schedule sex), you can experience the constancy of a regular relationship without hampering your partner’s demanding lifestyle.
8. Make Sex A Priority
If your partner is busy, the chances are that sex takes a back seat. Now, we’re not saying that you need to calendarize a seduction session, but you do need to prioritize sex.
A healthy part of any relationship, sex encourages intimacy, and not just in a physical way. Regular sex encourages you to share, especially if you introduce new toys or different positions to the mix.
Have some fun with your lovemaking and don’t be afraid to spice things up. It can help to strengthen your connection.
9. Extend Some Understanding
Not being able to spend a lot of time together can be just as tough on your partner as it is on you. Assuming your relationship foundation is solid enough for you both to willingly make this sacrifice, practicing empathy and understanding for the other’s situation is a healthy thing to do.
Perhaps your partner is busy because they’re working hard to secure a good future. Or maybe their family member is ill and they need to help out at home.
Extending some understanding can alleviate tension and remind you that this dynamic won’t necessarily last forever.
10. Assess Your Relationship
Look, everyone has a different definition of what a healthy, functional relationship looks like. Some people can cope with not seeing their partner every day—others not.
If you’re struggling to make peace with your partner’s lifestyle, take out some time to assess your relationship and where it might be headed in future. Your needs matter just as much as your partner’s.
Final Thoughts
No relationship comes without its fair share of emotional conflict. We wouldn’t be human without it!
So, don’t get down on yourself for feeling remiss about your partner’s busyness. What matters most is that your relationship encompasses love and respect, no matter what your respective schedules look like.
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