The Sensual Massage: 7 Steps to a successful massage for couples

Would you think that all you need for a sensual massage is good technique? Yes, hand work is a part of it, but to create a truly intimate and sensual experience you need to prepare, communicate, and be present in the moment.

A successful massage is a lot like a good date. It starts with setting the right mood, then progresses to making your other half feel comfortable and desired before finally achieving that perfect release of tension in the form of deep relaxation.

And just as there are so many different types of dates, there are also endless variations on how to give a massage. In this blog post, we will explore 7 steps for giving an amazing massage - from preparing beforehand to finishing off with some aftercare!  

The Sensual Massage: 7 steps for an amazing massage for couples


In order to have an enjoyable time together, it's important that you both take care of yourselves and get into the right mindset before diving in. Remember: happy partners make happy massages! You can read more about these 7 steps and other helpful tips below. 

If you've ever considered giving your lover a massage but felt uncertain about how to begin, or didn't know what to do, this article will give you the information and tools required for an enjoyable massage.   

For many of us, one of the first places we discover our sensuality is through touch – which basically is a form of a massage. Perhaps someone taught us how wonderful it feels to be touched in this way or perhaps we experimented on our own with a friend or other people… One thing's for sure – if you are considering delving further into sexual adventures with your spouse, learning to give them a sexy massage is a perfect place to begin! 

Before reading any further about massage techniques, let us take a moment to define what makes the perfect sexy massage.

The Sensual Massage


The perfect intimacy-building activity is something that both you and your partner can enjoy and will spice up your relationship. It is not designed purely for the health benefit of one person, so it's important that you have a discussion with both of you being in agreement on all steps involved in this activity. 

It's not about 'giving’ a sexy massage to your significant other, it's about creating a meaningful and calm time together you both enjoy. 

The most important aspect of this activity is communication: before it even begins you should be clear on what each other expects and wants from the encounter and discuss how far both of you are prepared to go - then only proceed as far as both people feel comfortable with doing so. 

You and your lover may have previously discussed what techniques you would both like to try or it can be a nice surprise for your partner when they feel the effects of the massage oils on their skin. 

The sensual massage has a lot of benefits and is all about creating arousal by using delicate, sexy movements and strokes in areas such as the arms, neck, feet, and head. It can then lead to a full-body stroke where you spend time touching each other everywhere apart from the erogenous zones (genitals), until eventually leading onto those parts of the body as well.

You can learn here what not to do while giving a sensual massage to your other half and what mistakes to avoid. 


Before the main event, think about what type of mood you want to create; make sure that there is plenty of time for both of you to enjoy the intimate and tantric time together and that there are no distractions. Light incense, use slow and sexy music, dim the lights, or light candles.   

The most important part of this is relaxation. In order to make sure your significant other is totally calm, ask him or her to take a hot bath or shower prior. 

This will open up their spirit as well as help them loosen their muscles more easily. Also, ask them not to drink caffeine or alcohol before so they're not all jittery from it, and enjoy it fully. Have everything ready before your partner enters the room so they don't feel rushed into anything that they don't want to do. 

And of course, be sure not to forget to use massage oil. Preferably use a high-quality oil containing natural ingredients that won’t cause any allergic reactions. See Joyful Couple’s massage oils here.

Massage for Couples: the 7 Steps


The environment can make or break the sexual atmosphere. To ensure your sexy oiled-up massage goes exactly how you want it, be sure to take some time at least one day before to set the mood for what comes next! With proper planning and forethought, you will surely set the stage for erotic and intimacy-building time together with your spouse and connect as a couple.

Some sexy ways to help get the mood ready include setting up romantic lighting in your bedroom or bathroom (or wherever you're playing!). Try using scented candles all around or burning incense. Set out towels that are soft and inviting on the ottoman or other furniture where you'll be massaging your partner. Be sure they are big enough so that one may be folded over the other for your partner's head, and that they are fluffy and inviting.

Freshen up the air with aromatic sprays. Vanilla is always enticing so try using some vanilla-scented candles or oils to lightly perfume the room. There are other romantic scents like lavender, which is associated with sensual time so if you want to go all out you might also use an essential oil version of these sexy smells as well.

a woman laying on a message board and smiling while waiting for a massage


Massage works best when it’s done using massage oil. You should also know that you can use coconut oil or almond oil for these purposes.

The best treatment is one that makes your partner feel sexy, and oil can go a long way to help you achieve this. Choose an oil that is light and scented with your favorite fragrance as it will not only smell great but also leave your partner's skin soft and hydrated.

Release the sensual side of yourself as you use the oil to glide over your lover's body. You'll be surprised at how much different massaging feels when there isn't friction from dry hands!

If you intend to continue the massage into something more sexual, it is important to know, that only a handful of specialized massage oils can be used also as lube.

So, before moving onto intimate parts, either remove the oil from all body parts that might touch the intimate parts or use the specialized oil (if in the product description you cannot find that that particular oil can be used as lube, consider, it can not be used as such. Don't take your chances, because it can lead to unpleasant moments).    

The right choice of massage oil, can help increase pleasure during the treatment, give a smooth glide to your movements, and even protect sensitive skin from irritation or dryness. A sensual massage with an aromatherapy oil will also provide mental and emotional benefits that will contribute to a stress-relieving session for you as a couple.

Luxury Massage Oil Affection

Massage Oil: Affection

Our natural massage oil is the perfect blend of premium quality plant-based ingredients and natural fragrances such as Sweet Almond Oil, peach, ylang-ylang, and musk. It leaves skin silky smooth and nourished leaving you feeling completely relaxed after each use. Your skin won't get greasy or sticky afterward.


The best way to relax someone is to be relaxed. If both you and your spouse are calm and happy, then there is nothing that can stop you from enjoying this great experience together. Make sure you communicate with your spouse and discuss what they want. 

Do not assume that you know what the other person wants, sensual connection is all about asking questions to get to know each other on a more intimate level! If you are nervous, then it will show through your strokes.

This isn't spoken language - if someone doesn't like what you are doing or where you are going… they will let you know! So take some deep breaths, remind yourself why you are both doing this and make eye contact when possible.

massage towel being put on a woman's back


The sensual massage is about starting out slow, including uncovering their body and building up to a boil, so remember that your partner might feel vulnerable during this time. 

This means you need to take extra care in providing them with a smooth transition from start to finish. It also means that you should communicate constantly with them throughout the entire process. Even if they're silent, ask them frequently if they want to continue or what you should do next. 

If your spouse is still dressed, be sure to be the one, who undresses him/her naked, and you can take your time in this step. Make sure your strokes are smooth and long, using your entire hand. Emphasize the sexual parts by slowly moving up and down your partner’s body. 

After massaging the thigh muscle, give attention to other places on the body that are normally overlooked during sex.  Run your fingers through their hair or tickle behind the ear... kiss him/her on the shoulder... rub his/her nipples... run your fingernails along the feet... The goal is to be intimate together without making anything sexual just yet!

a relaxed woman laying down on a massage board


If you are not sure, what your spouse will enjoy or not, first say what you want to do for them before trying it out on them by asking "Is this ok?" Be gentle with any vulnerable areas such as the back of the knees and neck until your partner tells you otherwise. Ask your other half to provide you with feedback. Also, you can use your voice to build anticipation and tease your partner. 

Lightly rubbing your palms with oil close to their skin without actually brushing against their skin will make them anticipate what's going to happen next, making it sexier and more intimate. The other spectrum of light touches would be to rub your own body with your partner's body.

Do not rush. The massage should take a minimum of 10-15 minutes before you even think about moving on to the intimate body parts. 

Sensual Massage For Couples: How to


From the head down, begin with the scalp, work your way down to his/her shoulders and continue from there. You can use your fingers, knuckles, palms of your hands, and even elbows, but only if your lover asks for it!   

This sensual massage is all about exploring each other's bodies in a safe and sexy environment. This process should not be rushed, but rather enjoyed and experienced to its fullest. You will see, with each next time it will become more intimate and sensual.

massage oils, candles and scents in the foreground, while a blurred out woman lays on a massage board


If you see your other half liking something – do it more. And, of course, if you see the opposite – do it less. If you will see them liking something, you also will enjoy giving the massage more. Sensual rub-down is a two-way pleasure.

As the massage progresses, take notice of your lover's breathing patterns. Does he/she breathe more heavily in certain places? Once you know more about what turns them on through touch, you can incorporate that into your routine.

When you have built up the tension and your partner is ready for the next step, quickly remove the oil from your hands (unless the massage oil is specifically designed to be used as a lube), take the necessary things you already prepared beforehand (lube, condoms, sex toys, etc.), and take the evening to new heights of pleasure! It will be a night to remember!

Why the sensual massage for couples is good for you

We hope you enjoyed these 7 steps for providing an amazing massage - from preparing beforehand to finishing off with some aftercare. From creating a mood and setting the right expectations, to make your other half feel comfortable and desired before finally achieving that perfect release of sexual tension in the form of deep satisfaction.   

If you want more tips on how to please your significant other or if you’re looking for natural, luxurious products like our natural massage oils, make sure to have a look around our website, where we have lots more information about all things related to making your relationship healthy and full of love!

As always, feel free to read other relationship tips and look around our store to find some thoughtful and sexy gifts for couples.

A stylistic image of the massage oil Affection

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  • Tim

    Those that didn’t know these steps had no game period.

  • Martha

    So many useful tips! They are simple and easy to remember. Have to try that massage oil now!

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