How do you get your partner to open up after a disagreement? What if they won't talk to you about what happened, and it seems like they don't want anything to do with you anymore? How can we get them back in our arms again? The answer is simple: love. Sometimes the best way for us to reconnect with our partners is by showing them how much we adore and care about them.
Read further to find out 16 ways that show your partner how much you love and cherish them even when things aren't going well between the two of you or something has been causing tension between the two of you. These ideas will help keep both parties happy, healthy, and connected- which will lead to a better relationship overall!
It's important to note, however, that relationship fights are different than relationship disputes and problems. Fights usually originate from anger or frustration and end quickly because one or both partners simply walk away from each other. Relationship problems aren't solved easily, either, but they end differently. Both sides try to resolve what's causing the problem until a solution can be reached. That being said, relationship fights still have value in your relationship if you learn how to fight fairly, which ends up strengthening your relationship instead of weakening it.
But what if you and your partner have a fight? How do you reconnect afterwards? While relationship fights can alter the relationship for the worse, relationship disputes are inevitable so learning to deal with those relationship issues as they come up is helpful.
Here are 16 ways to help you reconnect with your relationship after a relationship disagreement:
16 WAYS TO RECONNECT WITH YOUR PARTNER AFTER A DISAGREEMENT
1. Choose to forgive
Forgiveness is not about condoning bad behaviour but about choosing to let go of negative feelings that will only hurt you. By forgiving, you're also communicating that you respect yourself enough not to allow someone's mistakes hinder your progress in life. Keep in mind that forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting something ever happened or giving them permission to continue hurting you because they said they were sorry.
2. Take responsibility for your actionsYou may be right about how you feel or what you think, but that doesn't mean it's okay to act out in anger. The relationship will never improve if both partners refuse to take any responsibility.
In a fight it is extremely rare there is only one to blame, so when you had the time to look back at the fight, think about the things you could have done differently, and then say it to your partner you should not have done that. If both of you will take the resposibility of your own actions, it will be much easier to forgive and forget, and move on, not to mention that by doing this you will grow and become better persons.
3. Separate the issuesIsolating problems is the first step toward resolving them because once they are clearly identified, solutions can be found. Also avoid bringing up past relationship mistakes as this will only escalate the fight rather than resolve anything. Agree to keep the conversation limited to the current disagreement and save personal attacks for another time when things have calmed down.
Both sides need to compromise, which means that one side has to meet halfway with their request or concession. This may not always mean that you get what you want all the time but it does guarantee that important relationship issues are discussed and addressed.
Relationships are a long game, so one compromise now will bring many happy moments in the future.
5. Use "I" statements to express yourselfUsing " I" statements is more effective than using "you" statements when talking about relationship issues because your partner can't argue about how you feel. For example, instead of saying, "You make me angry," say, "When you do this, it makes me feel ____." This also helps keep the conversation from escalating into a relationship fight.
6. Never underestimate the power of a heartfelt apology
Even if you think what you did wasn't wrong, always apologize for your relationship mistakes because saying sorry is never a bad thing and it shows others (especially your partner) that they matter and can trust you again.
And remember: no relationship argument will last forever; there will come a time where things calm down and both parties feel safe enough to discuss relationship issues without wanting to hurt each other which is why apologizing while things are still fresh can help your relationship grow even stronger than before.
7. Spend time together doing something you both enjoy
After relationship fights, it's normal for couples to want to spend some time apart, but too much can lead to relationship problems when it becomes permanent. Time spent together strengthens relationship bonds so don't neglect this important part of your relationship by not spending time alone with each other.
8. Do something different than usualWhen you both have calmed down a bit, but there still is something bothering you have a change of pace - take in a movie you wouldn't usually watch or go out for dinner at a restaurant neither of you has tried before.
Breaking away from regular routines gives relationship fights less chance of happening again in the future because familiar relationship habits are what often cause them in the first place.
9. Talk about how things will be different after your relationship issues have been resolved
Will you communicate more? Plan dates in advance? Change the way you express your feelings so there's less chance of relationship fights arising ever again?
Knowing how both sides plan to move forward after relationship fights can prevent future relationship problems from popping up again in the future.
10. Don't go to bed angry
This is almost a cliché, but nevertheless it is an important part of a healthy relationship.
Couples who don't resolve relationship disputes before going to sleep risk waking up the next day with unresolved relationship mistakes that could have been prevented if they had just talked it out instead of allowing their relationship problems to escalate into a permanent fight.
11. Ask your partner what went wrong
In many cases we don't see our behavior as harming or wrong, so just by asking, what went wrong can make them think about their own behavior that caused the relationship fight to escalate. Hopefully they see this as a relationship issue that both of you can resolve together.
But this step should be done only after you have calmed down, and remember to ask it gently and then listen to your partner, otherwise this question could lead to another disagreement.
12. Focus on solutions instead of who's right or wrong
Try to come up with possible solutions to whatever problem you're dealing with; listen carefully without interrupting and don't be quick to dismiss any ideas (even if they seem flawed at first).
This way you'll move closer towards resolving the conflict together and in turn create an atmosphere where it's easier for your relationship to thrive again.
13. Talk about relationship goals
The relationship argument may have brought your relationship goals to light which is a good thing, so now use it as an opportunity for growth. Discuss what both of you want out of the relationship and how you can pursue those relationship goals together.
If you're not on the same page it's never too late to discuss relationship goals with each other, choose relationship goals that are realistic, specific and attainable.
14. Create new positive memories together
Try creating new happy memories that will help strengthen your relationship after a fight just like this couple who created funny memes to help with their post-argument depression. Making positive memories helps create strong emotional bonding!
15. Don't take relationship problems too personally
Sometimes relationship fights can feel like they're about you, but that's rarely the case. Relationship issues are never just one person's fault and it's important to keep in mind that relationship problems don't define relationship success and failure either.
16. Be positive
Even if things aren't going well between the two of you, try not to assume the relationship is going downhill or that it's doomed. The relationship might not be perfect but it doesn't mean you have to give up on making your relationship better by choosing to be positive.
Try using positive relationship words when engaging in conversation with each other and use relationship affirmations.