The Sensual Massage: 7 Steps to a Successful Massage For Couples

Updated: 9 April, 2024

Would you think that all you need for a sensual massage is good technique? Yes, handwork is a part of it. Still, to create a truly intimate and sensual experience, you must prepare, communicate, and be present.

A successful massage is a lot like a good date. It starts with setting the right mood, then progresses to making your other half feel comfortable and desired, before finally achieving that perfect release of tension in deep relaxation.

And just as there are so many different types of dates, there are also endless variations on how to give a massage. In this blog post, we will explore 7 steps for giving an amazing massage—from preparing beforehand to finishing off with some aftercare!

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The Sensual Massage: 7 Steps For an Amazing Massage For Couples


To have an enjoyable time together, it's important that you both take care of yourselves and get into the right mindset before diving in.

Suppose you've ever considered giving your lover a massage but felt uncertain about how to begin or didn't know what to do. This article will provide you with the information and tools required for an enjoyable massage.

Touch often serves as an initial gateway to exploring our sensuality, with massage being a common first encounter. Whether it was shared knowledge, personal exploration, or experiences with others, the discovery of touch's pleasure is a universal journey. If you're looking to deepen your sexual connection with your partner, mastering the art of a sensual massage is an excellent starting point!

Before reading any further about massage techniques, let us take a moment to define what makes the perfect sexy massage.



The Sensual Massage


You and your partner can enjoy the perfect intimacy-building activity, which will spice up your relationship.It is not designed solely for the health benefit of one individual; therefore, both parties must discuss and agree on all steps involved in this activity.

It's not about 'giving' a sexy massage to your significant other; it's about creating a meaningful and calm time together you both enjoy.

The most important aspect of this activity is communication. Before it even begins, you should be clear on what each other expects and wants from the encounter and discuss how far both of you are prepared to go, then proceed as far as both people feel comfortable with doing so.

You and your lover may have previously discussed what techniques you would both like to try, or it can be a pleasant surprise for your partner when they feel the effects of the massage oils on their skin.

Sensual massage has a lot of benefits. It is all about creating arousal by using delicate, sexy movements and strokes in areas such as the arms, neck, feet, and head. It can then lead to a full-body stroke where you spend time touching each other everywhere apart from the erogenous zones (genitals) until eventually leading onto those parts of the body as well.

Discover here the dos and don'ts of giving your partner a sensual massage, including common pitfalls to steer clear of.



Before the main event, think about what type of mood you want to create; make sure that there is plenty of time for both of you to enjoy the intimate and tantric time together and that there are no distractions. Light incense, use slow and sexy music, dim the lights or light candles.

The most important part of this is relaxation. To ensure your significant other is calm, ask him or her to take a hot bath or shower prior.

This will open their spirit and help them loosen their muscles more efficiently. Also, ask them not to drink caffeine or alcohol before so they're not all jittery from it and can enjoy it fully. Have everything ready before your partner enters the room so they don't feel rushed into anything they don't want to do.

And, of course, be sure to remember to use massage oil. Use a high-quality oil containing natural ingredients that won't cause allergic reactions. See Joyful Couple's massage oils here.

Massage for Couples: the 7 Steps


Every couple is unique, and so should their massage experience. To tailor this intimate encounter to your personal tastes, start by discussing each other's likes and dislikes, from the pressure level in your strokes to the areas of focus you find most relaxing or arousing.

You can customize the ambiance with a playlist of songs with special meaning for both or incorporate elements that trigger pleasant memories, like a specific scent or fabric. Don't hesitate to get creative with the massage oils—mix and match essential oils to create a signature blend that resonates with your senses.

Remember, personalization is about crafting an experience that feels uniquely yours, so include inside jokes, personal anecdotes, or even a themed massage that plays into a shared fantasy. The goal is to weave elements of your relationship into the massage, making it a truly bespoke and unforgettable encounter.

a woman laying on a message board and smiling while waiting for a massage


Massage works best when it's done using massage oil. You should also know that you can use coconut or almond oil.

The best treatment is one that makes your partner feel sexy, and oil can go a long way to help you achieve this. Choose an oil that is light and scented with your favorite fragrance, as it will not only smell great but also leave your partner's skin soft and hydrated.

Release the sensual side of yourself as you use the oil to glide over your lover's body. You'll be surprised at how much different massaging feels when there isn't friction from dry hands!

Suppose you intend to continue the massage with something more sexual. In that case, it is important to know that only a handful of specialized massage oils can be used as lube.

So, before moving on to intimate parts, remove the oil from all body parts that might touch the private parts or use specialized oil. If, in the product description, you cannot find that that particular oil can be used as lube, consider that it cannot be used as such. Don't take your chances because it can lead to unpleasant moments.

The right massage oil can help increase pleasure during the treatment, give a smooth glide to your movements, and even protect sensitive skin from irritation or dryness. A sensual massage with aromatherapy oil will also provide mental and emotional benefits that will contribute to a stress-relieving session for you as a couple.


Luxury Massage Oil Affection

Massage Oil: Affection

Our natural massage oil perfectly blends premium quality plant-based ingredients and natural fragrances such as Sweet Almond Oil, peach, ylang-ylang, and musk. It leaves skin silky smooth and nourished, utterly relaxed after each use. Your skin won't get greasy or sticky afterward.


The best way to relax someone is to be relaxed. If both you and your spouse are calm and happy, then there is nothing that can stop you from enjoying this incredible experience together. Make sure you communicate with your partner and discuss what they want.

Do not assume that you know what the other person wants. Sensual connection is all about asking questions to get to know each other more intimately! If you are nervous, then it will show through your strokes.

This isn't spoken language - if someone doesn't like what you are doing or where you are going  they will let you know! So take some deep breaths, remind yourself why you are doing this, and make eye contact when possible.

massage towel being put on a woman's back


The sensual massage is about starting out slow, including uncovering the body and building up to a boil, so remember that your partner might feel vulnerable during this time.

This means you must provide them with a smooth transition from start to finish. It also means you should communicate constantly with them throughout the process. If they're silent, ask them frequently if they want to continue or what you should do next.

If your spouse is still dressed, be sure to be the one who undresses him/her naked, and you can take your time in this step. Make sure your strokes are smooth and long, using your entire hand. Emphasize the sexual parts by slowly moving up and down your partner's body.

After massaging the thigh muscle, give attention to other places on the body that are typically overlooked during sex. Run your fingers through their hair or tickle behind the ear, kiss him/her on the shoulder, rub his/her nipples... run your fingernails along the feet... The goal is to be intimate together without making anything sexual just yet!

a relaxed woman laying down on a massage board


If you are unsure what your spouse will enjoy, first say what you want to do for them before trying it out by asking, "Is this ok?" Be gentle with any vulnerable areas, such as the back of the knees and neck, until your partner tells you otherwise. Ask your other half to provide you with feedback. Also, you can use your voice to build anticipation and tease your partner. 

Lightly rubbing your palms with oil close to their skin without actually brushing against their skin will make them anticipate what's going to happen next, making it sexier and more intimate. The other spectrum of light touches would be to rub your own body with your partner's body.

Do not rush. The massage should take a minimum of 10-15 minutes before you even think about moving on to the intimate body parts.

Sensual Massage For Couples: How to


Begin the sensual journey with a tender scalp massage, using the fingertips to create relaxing rhythms that soothe the mind and soul. Transition gently to the face and neck, where stress can accumulate, using soft strokes to release tension.

As you move to the shoulders, mix kneading with your knuckles and smooth sweeps of your palms to ease any tightness. Encourage feedback to ensure each motion enhances the shared experience.
Introduce variety with your touch—let your fingertips dance along your arms while palms provide comforting warmth. Venture down the body with care, blending therapeutic and teasing touches. Apply pressure judiciously to areas like the lower back, balancing it with light, anticipatory strokes that lead to the legs and feet. Here, you might experiment with reflexology points to deepen relaxation.

Stay attuned to each other throughout the massage. The slow pace isn't just about physical sensation; it's a conduit for emotional intimacy, a silent dialogue affirming your bond. Each session is a chance to learn and connect more deeply, transforming touch into a love language.


massage oils, candles and scents in the foreground, while a blurred out woman lays on a massage board


If you see your other half liking something – do it more. And, of course, if you know the opposite – do it less. If you see them liking something, you also will enjoy giving the massage more. Sensual rub-down is a two-way pleasure.

As the massage progresses, take notice of your lover's breathing patterns. Does he/she breathe more heavily in certain places? You can incorporate that into your routine once you know more about what turns them on through touch.

When you have built up the tension and your partner is ready for the next step, quickly remove the oil from your hands (unless the massage oil is specifically designed to be used as a lube), take the necessary things you already prepared beforehand (lube, condoms, sex toys, etc.), and take the evening to new heights of pleasure! It will be a night to remember!


Why the sensual massage for couples is good for you


The Essence of Aftercare in Deepening Emotional Bonds

Aftercare is a pivotal part of any intimate experience, serving as the gentle bridge back to reality after a shared journey into sensuality. It's a time to bask in the warmth of connection, ensuring both partners feel cherished and valued. This could be as simple as holding each other in a soft embrace, exchanging tender words of appreciation, or taking care of one another's needs with a warm blanket or a hydrating drink.

It's an opportunity to debrief emotionally, share reflections on the experience, and express any feelings that surfaced. Aftercare solidifies the trust and care foundational to the relationship, reinforcing the sense of a safe and loving environment. By prioritizing aftercare, couples fortify their emotional ties, turning a moment of physical intimacy into a lasting bond of mutual respect and affection.


We hope you enjoyed these 7 steps for providing a fantastic massage - from preparing beforehand to finishing off with some aftercare. From creating a mood and setting the right expectations to make your other half feel comfortable and desired before finally achieving that perfect release of sexual tension in the form of deep satisfaction.  

If you want more tips on how to please your significant other or if you're looking for natural, luxurious products like our natural massage oils, make sure to have a look around our website, where we have lots more information about all things related to making your relationship healthy and full of love!

As always, read other relationship tips and look around our store for thoughtful and sexy gifts for couples.


A stylistic image of the massage oil Affection

FAQ Section

1. Can any oil be used for a sensual massage, and are there any specific recommendations?

For a sensual massage, it's best to use a high-quality massage oil that contains natural ingredients to prevent allergic reactions and ensure the skin is left soft and hydrated. Oils like coconut or almond are recommended for their pleasant textures and aromas. However, not all oils are suitable as lubricants for more intimate activities, so it's important to check the product description or opt for specially designed massage oils that are safe for such use.

2. How can I ensure my partner is completely relaxed during the massage?

Start by creating a calm and inviting atmosphere to ensure your partner is relaxed. This can include taking a hot bath or shower beforehand to loosen muscles, avoiding caffeine or alcohol, and setting up the massage area with dim lighting, candles, and soft music. Communication is key, so ask your partner about their preferences and comfort levels throughout the massage.

3. What are some tips for setting the mood for a sensual massage?

Setting the right mood involves personalizing the experience to suit you and your partner's tastes. Discuss preferences for massage pressure, focus areas, and any dislikes. Customize the ambiance with music, scents, or fabrics that have special meaning to both of you. Incorporating elements that trigger pleasant memories or shared fantasies can enhance the intimacy of the massage.

4. How can we transition smoothly into more intimate activities after the massage?

Transitioning into more intimate activities should be natural and based on mutual consent and desire. Pay attention to your partner's body language and breathing patterns during the massage for cues on what they enjoy. Before moving on to intimate areas, ensure that the massage oil you're using is safe for those parts, or clean off any oil that isn't. Having necessary items like lube, condoms, or sex toys prepared beforehand can also facilitate a smooth transition to further intimacy.


Related articles:

- Most common mistakes during a sexy massage

- 10 Benefits of a couples massage


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  • Tim

    Those that didn’t know these steps had no game period.

  • Martha

    So many useful tips! They are simple and easy to remember. Have to try that massage oil now!

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