The “Don’ts” of a Sensual and Sexy Couples’ Massage

Updated: 10 November, 2023

A sensual massage can add a lot to your relationship, from the physical touch to the emotional connection. Still, it also has the potential to turn sour very quickly.

Whether you're new to the practice of sensual massage or a long-time practitioner, it's easy to get bogged down by some of the "don'ts" of seductive and sexy massage.

Don't sweat it. Take the time to follow these sensual and sexy massage don'ts before you begin. These sensual and sexy massage don'ts can help ensure that your partner and you both have a truly pleasurable experience.

If you're a sensual massage enthusiast, here are some of the most common mistakes that may be holding you back from experiencing the ultimate pleasure.

After learning what not to do while giving a sensual massage, find out the 7 steps for a successful sensual massage, so you can gift your partner the massage he or she has been begging for. You're going to look sexy as hell while doing it.

So, let's discover the most common mistakes you should avoid when giving a sensual massage.


Read time: approximately 12 minutes.

The “Don’ts” of a Sensual and Sexy Couples’ Massage 


Don’t Underestimate the Ambiance

It's more than just a matter of the proper techniques and tools. The environment in which the massage occurs plays an essential role in its effectiveness.

Ambiance and mood are essential factors in any erotic massage experience, particularly with the sensual aspect of the massage being emphasized. This can help keep the focus on the massage and away from extraneous details.

If it helps, wear a robe or something light, like lingerie, to make it easier for the other person to be more comfortable and relaxed. And, of course, knowing that your partner is next to you wearing almost nothing can only increase the experience.

Although a lovely, pleasant aroma adds to the mood, don't use strong scents in the room; most people aren't comfortable smelling anything, especially if it's not a natural scent.

So, be prepared—set some music, dim the lights, and think about the aroma. Use a scented candle, incense, or aromatic massage oil, like our Massage Oil "Affection" with a lightly sweet tropical scent.

Don’t be Unprepared

Sensual massage is a relaxing and intimate experience where the flow of the massage is significant, so being prepared is a must.

Maybe your partner is allergic to some ingredients? What kind of massage are you planning to do? Do you plan to do only the massage, or will it be followed by a happy ending?

You'll need to know what types of massage oils and scents your partner prefers and a few tricks to make your massage even more sensual. For example, if you're giving a back rub, don't put too much pressure on the muscles in the area; try massaging the areas around the spine instead. Also, prepare the room, get the massage oil, some sheets, pillows, towels, and all you need.

Knowing and preparing for these things beforehand will allow you to avoid many awkward moments and will allow for a relaxing and intimate massage.
What not to do sensual massage

Don’t Ignore Your Partner's Needs

You know your significant other best, but sometimes more is needed, and this is a common mistake not only in giving a sensual massage but in life in general. Quite often, we assume what our partner wants, and sometimes we think correctly, but other times, it is a complete miss that ruins the whole evening.

Does he or she like light touches, or does he or she prefer a sports massage with solid movements? Are there body parts he or she does not want touched, and which parts need the most attention?

Learn these things by asking straight or starting slow and then listening to their body language. By knowing what your partner needs the most, instead of thinking about what you could do wrong, you can concentrate on letting your hands show your love by massaging those beautiful muscles and their skin.

Let your fingers know how much you love and appreciate your partner, sensually and lovingly.


Don’t Use Body Lotions

A body lotion can be a great addition to a spa, but if you're doing a sensual massage, don't use it.

Why not use it? Short answer: they are not intended to be used in a massage. Although they provide the necessary benefits at first glance, body lotions and their oils are sticky, too. The oils will stick to the skin, and they also tend to stick to the sheets, blankets, and even the massage table.

Once it's all over the room, you'll find yourself having to clean it off, which disrupts the flow of the massage and distracts the recipient from their experience. So, use massage oil instead.

Don’t Make Your Partner Feel Like You’re in The Middle of a Mission

A sensual massage is a symphony of touch, not a race to completion. It's a leisurely journey over the landscape of your partner's body, where each stroke and caress is an exploration, not a step in a regimen. As you embark on this tactile voyage, let the goal be to discover the map of your partner's pleasure, taking cues from the sighs and softening of muscles under your touch.

The massage should unfold organically, giving and accepting where pressure and pace naturally flow. There's no checklist or timeline to follow—only the shared pulse of two people in sync. Allow the space for pauses, breaths that deepen, and eyes that lock, affirming the connection that transcends the physical. Your hands, guided by empathy and attunement, are instruments of affection, not tools on a mission.

By savoring each moment and responding to the silent language of your partner's body, the massage becomes a dialogue of comfort and desire, a mutual surrender to the experience that strengthens your bond without a word being spoken.

Don’t Squirt Massage Oil Onto Your Partner’s Body

We already know that massage oil is a must in a sensual massage, but you still could misuse it—there is a thing like too much oil. You need to apply massage oil gently and with sensuous strokes. You don't want to squirt it all over the place. It will make everything drip all over the place and make things messy.

Your job is to create an environment where your partner can relax and enjoy the process. So, use the massage oil as needed. Pour enough oil on your hands so they are covered in oil, but not so much that it drips off. Take some more oil when the oil wears off and the movements are not slippery enough. Your hands must be gentle and soft, and your movements should be slow and seductive.

A great way to use the right amount of oil without getting messy is to have a massage oil equipped with a lotion pump, just like the Massage Oil "Affection" is fitted.

Why you should argue as a couple

Don’t Treat Your Partner Like a Piece of Meat

There is no better way to show someone how much you love them than by caressing their body. Whether it's kissing a loved one, having your partner massage you, or having him or her gently stroke your body, all these actions convey the type of love you wish to share with them.

Sensual massage is a beautiful way to bring your partner closer to you. But don't take advantage of that closeness by being overly sexually explicit or demanding (if you are at the receiving end). Instead, focus on bringing out your partner's personality playfully. Be creative.

If you are giving the massage, try to please your partner by hitting the right spots. But suppose you are at the receiving end; express your desires, but in the end, let your partner control the massage. In that case, it can be a great way to show him or her that you appreciate their way of pleasing you.

Don’t Forget About The Sensitive Parts

We all love to be touched and kissed in the most sensual and intimate ways. Still, massages are a completely different type of intimacy than kissing. Massage is an incredibly powerful form of intimacy because it puts your whole body into play and helps you relax.

What you can do to help keep your lover's body feeling great while you massage it is to focus on the more "sensitive" spots. These include the head, neck, back, stomach, and inner thighs.

To ensure your partner feels good, massage these areas with a sensual massage oil. You can use your fingertips, a feather-weight brush, or even your mouth to create an orgasmic sensation. But remember that most massage oils do not act as lubricants and can irritate the most sensitive parts, so be sure to massage the genitals only if you know your massage oil is meant for that. Or, just leave those parts for the "dessert" after the massage.


Don’t Use Your Thumbs Too Much 

Some studies suggest that using your thumb while performing a massage can be stimulating and exciting. Although true, you can quickly tire out your hands and arms during a massage. This is especially true if you use your thumbs as you give your lover a sensual massage. As a result, it's best to limit the use of your thumbs in a massage so you can do it longer without making your hands sore.

But if you wish to use your thumbs, put them on top of your loved one's shoulders, neck, side of the back, or other place that should be massaged. Your thumbs should be placed just below the palms, allowing the most pressure and limiting the strength necessary.

Don’t Expect a Massage in Return

There are better ideas than giving a massage to your significant other just to receive one back. That's one of those things you should be able to tell at first glance. If you want a massage in return, you will rush it and won't fully commit to it. And trust us—your partner will feel it.

This will create tension between you—and not the sexy kind of tension, but the frustrating kind of one. As a result, neither of you will enjoy the process, and your partner probably won't be willing to give you a massage.

We suggest you treat your partner with the respect you expect in return. By doing so, your partner will want to treat you back—it might not be a massage, but it will be something you enjoy.

Don’t Ignore Your Partner's Body Language

If you want to ensure your partner is comfortable during a massage, don't just pat him or her on the back and think it is enough. Of course, it is an exaggeration, but we often want to do the minimum effort to be done with it.

That will only irritate your partner, and neither of you will be happy. You need to be aware of what your partner tells you by using your partner's body language.

Your job is to interpret that body language and be aware of the signals coming from your partner's body. What does he or she want? Does he or she want you to stop, or do they want you to continue to move where you're going?

If you try your best and try to do the things your partner likes, you will see that you will also enjoy giving the massage.


Sexy couples massage

In Conclusion

So, now you know what not to do in a sensual massage. Sensual massage is a bonding experience, and you want it to be relaxing, sexy, and intimate, so the first thing you need to do is be prepared and find out what is turning your partner on.

It can be anything from setting the atmosphere with music and scented candles or flowers to making your partner feel loved and cared for. Then, learn which body parts your partner wants and doesn't want massaged.

If you want to get the most out of a sensual massage, take it slow and be in the right mindset. The goal of sensual and sexy massage is to make your partner want to feel close to you—physically and emotionally—and to want to feel your touch on his or her body. After that, let the body talk and enjoy the experience so your bond can become even more vital.

If you wish to learn more about what to do in a sensual massage, read these 7 steps for a successful sensual massage here.

As always, read other relationship tips and look around our store for thoughtful and sexy gifts for couples.

We would love to hear from you!

Have you made any mistakes during a sensual massage?

Maybe we missed a vital mistake that is common for couples massages? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below!


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1 comment

  • Jack

    My age 75, my Bride (74) of 52 years, She is an absolute BABE!!! Most of our marriage I have have been lousy at satisfying my Brides sexual desires. However, I am now focused on totally doing all I can to fulfill her needs and desires without expecting anything in return! It’s a real freeing feeling for me not expecting anything in return and I think it is for her, as I reminded her the total focus is on her. After she had later expressed a desire to get sexual. My Babe is, a Very Strong, Tuff, Very Opinionated, and Beautiful Woman! At first, I was unsure how she would respond and open up?!?! I’ve given her a couple of massages and am amazed at her positive reactions and am looking forward to seeing where this leads us. I’m feeling optimistic with endless patience, I’ll be able to finally, be the man that helps her becomes fulfilled far beyond her expectations. Hold me in Prayer that I may be wise enough and patient enough to lead her through this Journey.

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