When it comes to relationship doubts, the key is to be able to distinguish between healthy fears that come from a place of caution and unhealthy fears that come from a lack of trust. If your concerns are based in reality and founded in evidence, then it's time to take action.
Read on to find out, how to deal with doubt and how to take action.
Read time: approximately 10 minutes
Relationship Doubts: Are they normal and what to do about them
When it is normal to have doubts?
When doubts can be harmful?
Why are we doubting our loved ones?
There are many reasons to have doubts. As we explained before some doubts can be good, because it means you care, but there definitely can be baseless and harmful doubts.
But other than health and unhealthy doubts we can categorize doubts in two types:
- Internal Doubts – these happen because we are unsure about our own feelings. For example, if from time to time you ask yourself “Is this relationship for me”, most likely it is an internal doubt. For the most part these kinds of doubts are normal because we as human beings are constantly learning new things, which includes going over some sort of doubts.
- External Doubts – these occur when you think something is happening in the relationship beyond your control. For example, you think your partner does not love you anymore, or is having an affair. In this case these doubts can be based on reality or on your own fiction, and it is important to know, which one is it, because there kind of doubts when let unchecked, can ruin a good relationship.
How to know, if my doubts are OK?
1. If you're having external doubts, ask yourself the following questions:
- Are my concerns based in reality? If so, are there any proof?
- Do my fears have a logical basis? Is it even possible what I am fearful about?
- Have I talked to my partner about these concerns, but it did not clear my doubts?
If you answered to at least 2 of these questions with “no”, then most likely you have a brief moment of doubts, but without any strong reason, but if you answered all of these questions with “yes”, then there might be something going on, and you should find out, what’s wrong, so you could work on a solution.
2. And, if you feel the doubts are internal, answer these following questions:
- Do I feel good with my partner?
- Is this really what I want for myself?
- Is this the right relationship for me?
Remember, relationships are never perfect, but they can be worth fighting for if both parties are willing to put in the effort.
And don’t worry, we have prepared some quick advice about how to approach your partner, when dealing with doubt.
Communicate your doubts and fears ASAP
1. Make sure that you're clear and concise when expressing your concerns
2. Stay calm and be respectful when communicating with your partner
3. Make sure that you're both on the same page before trying to resolve anything
4. Be specific about the issues that are bothering you
5. Try not to attack or criticize your partner
This type of behavior will only make things worse, and it won't do anything to help resolve the issues at hand.