10 Things to Rekindle Love in a Relationship Gone Cold

Relationships can be a rollercoaster of emotions, and like everything they have their ups and downs, sometimes even stopping at a freezing halt. It can happen to the best of us. 

If you think that you are now going downwards in the rollercoaster ride of your relationship, you have come to the right place!

Even if everything is going smoothly, it won’t hurt to find out some tips on how to avoid this of happening.

So, read on and find out the 10 things we think you can do to rekindle your love for one another, and melt away the coldness that might have overcome your relationship.

*Tips are sorted in no particular order and can be done separately. 

Read time: approximately 12 minutes

10 Things to Rekindle Love in a Relationship Gone Cold

What is Love?

Love can be many things. It can be a feeling, a sensation, a person, a sense of belonging. It can even be a mathematical equation [1]. 

Take a second and think about, what are the first things that come in your mind, when thinking about love When you hear the word “love”, you might think of the feeling you had as a child or the feelings you had for your first significant other.

However, when it comes to romantic relationships, and the kind we will be covering in this article, “love” is a feeing and sense of belonging, trust and affection to your romantic partner. And this “love” describes two different types of emotion: Romantic Love vs. Sexual Love

Different Types of Love?

While Romantic Love and Sexual Love work together, creating the sensation of love, they can also act separately.

While romantic love is based on trust, verbal communication and affection, sexual love is more about lust, desire, physical communication, and passion.

So, it is fully possible that with your romantic love everything is nice and sweet, while the sexual love is broken, and vice versa.

There are certain times in a relationship when you may fall in love with someone, and it lasts a long time. These are the people who feel comfortable and confident, and just want to be around their lover.

On the other hand, there are also times when you find someone, and then you just can’t get enough. These are the times you feel a lot of lust and passion.

In fact, the dynamics of these two types of love quite often shift while you are in the relationship – you can experience a period when both of you just can’t get your hands off each other, and sometimes you just want to spend time together by talking about life while sex is the last thing on your mind.

But, if one of you avoid either one types of love for a longer period of time, there might be a problem, which better be addresses sooner than later.

So, if you feel that your love has gone cold – first, find out, is it the Romantic Love, Sexual Love, or both, so you can start fixing things where it needs fixing.

As we said before, both loves work together in tandem, so all of these tips are relatable to both of them, but some of them leans more to one or another, so we have divided the tips into 3 categories, that relates more to Romantic, Sexual or Both types of loves.

what to do when a relationship gone cold

1.   Give Them Space to Speak (Romantic)

There are many things you can do to increase intimacy in a relationship, but one of the most effective is giving space to your partner to speak.

Communication is the key in any relationship. Without proper communication no relationship can work out, so be sure you let your partner speak his/her mind.

Many relationships get stuck in the same cycle of arguing and fighting about the same thing over and over again.

The best way to get out of this pattern is to give your partner space to talk about what they’re thinking, feeling, and experiencing. This will allow you to better understand your partner, which will make it easier to accept their feelings and needs.

2.   Listen Intently and With Interest (Both)

In addition to previous tip, don’t just let your partner speak, but truly listen to what they have to say!

Although intuitively you might think listening would more be associated to Romantic Love, showing true interest into your partner and his/her hobbies, daily activities, and personality goes a long way also into Sexual Love.

By showing interest in him/her, you will express that you care, love and are attracted to your partner.

Also, it will provide you with the opportunity to know some new exciting things about your partner, which can make you like him/her more as well.

It will lead to rekindling the passion and desire that you had when your relationship first began is to listen intently and with interest to what your partner is saying.

The more you show an interest in them, the more likely they are to want to be with you. This is a great way to get to know your partner better.

More you know about them, the easier it is to communicate with them and to understand where they're coming from.

The key here is to listen with intent to learn more and show interest. Don’t just act like you are listening. 

3.   Show Attention and Express Affection (Sexual)

It’s amazing what little changes in your behavior, like showing attention and expressing affection, can do to your relationship!

If you want to get your partner back, here are few simple steps you can take to express affection: 

  • Smile more - When you smile at your partner, your face radiates a warm glow that makes you look healthy, happy, and confident. Smiling makes you look like the person he or she fell in love with, which will encourage your partner to treat you with more love and affection. 
  • Wear Something Sexy – this is a bit easier for the ladies, because men just love seeing their special woman wearing something sexy for them, but also women enjoy when their man dresses for the occasion. 
  • “Accidental” Touches – when going by your partner, lightly touch his/her back or butt. Don’t be too obvious though. Let it be as an innocent invitation for something more.

how to fix a relationship

4.   Encourage Their Confidence (Both) 

When we feel unconfident and have doubts about ourselves or our relationship, it is no surprise, if our love goes cold.

If we feel this way, it is difficult for us to express any kind of affection and desire, because we might be scared of the rejection of our partner.

So. if you feel like a love that has gone cold, then you need to encourage confidence in your relationship, which means encouraging your self and your partner. Affirm your partner that you still love him/her.

Compliment your partner and show appreciation. Say something good about his/her appearance, or compliment, what good job they did about something. Or, simply say that you are happy being with him/her.

And, if there have been some distractions in your life (like stress at work), explain it to your partner, so they know the reason, why you might be colder than usual.

Let your partner know you care, compliment areas of his or her life that he or she has put a lot of effort into. And don’t forget about yourself! Allow to be complimented back!

5.   Let Go of Perfectionism (Romantic)

Being perfect might sound good, but the truth is, no one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect.

Sure, you need to aim for perfection and become a petter person than before, but fixation on perfection will only do harm. And it is true in relationship, as it is true in different areas of life.

Also, asking perfection from your partner, you are putting pressure on him/her, and doing so the person most likely won’t become perfect, but rather scared of disappointing you, which in the long run is a bad thing.

If you find yourself getting into the loop of finding things that you wish were better in your relationship, take a moment to yourself.

Are those things bad, or just not perfect? If it is the latter, remember that nothing is perfect and focus on the good things – because there sure are the good things (if there are no good things in your relationship, it probably is a time to evaluate, why you are in such relationship).

So, in order for you to let go of perfectionism, you have to be able to let go of the idea that you are going to keep up with every aspect of your relationship.

There is no way you can maintain a relationship with someone and be perfect all the time. You are going to be human.

When we first meet someone, we expect them to be perfect, but over time, we get tired of being around perfectionists and want our partner to be their “normal” self.

6.   Share Stories from the Past (Romantic)

Of course, this works best for relationships that have been going for some time and you both have shared some exciting moments together, but also new couples should not dismiss the power of sharing mutual stories.

Nostalgia is a powerful emotional trigger that can do a lot to your relationship. Surely, there have been many exciting moments that you shared together that you can now reflect on.

Take a glass of your favorite drinks, sit down, let go of your phones and just talk with each other about the good times you had together. This not only will take back you to the memory lane, but could open you both to new ideas, and new adventures you would like to go to!

Remember to be positive and look back on the times in a lighthearted way.

Talking in relationship

7.   Become a Better Person and Partner (Both)

If you think that the relationship is gone cold, but you still believe in it, now's the time to really focus on becoming a better person.

By listening more intently, learning how to make your partner happier, understanding more, and – taking the time to take care of yourself, will make you a better person and in turn might reignite the spark between the two of you.

If you will be happier, you will be able to make your partner happier.

8.   Fun Under the Sheets (Sexual)

Although sex itself is not all there is when it comes to the Sexual Love, it obviously plays a major role in it.

So, it is not hard to imagine, if you have no or little sex, or don’t have any passion when doing it, there is a big problem, and it needs your attention.

First understand, is the problem lack of sex or the quality of it. Then try to figure out the cause of it. When you will know it, well, it might be very easily or very difficult to fix.

  1. Lack of sex mostly comes when you both are just too busy. If you are too busy – you are in luck because this is the most easily fixable problem. Just sit down and talk it out, when would be the best time for you to have sex. 

  2. Sexual quality often suffers, when you have reached a point, where If this is the case, try to introduce new elements in the bedroom. New positions, new toys, new games, role-play. The sky is the limit here, just make it new and exciting. 

  3. But there can be a third option – maybe you have lost interest in each other. If you have lost interest, well, it might be because the sex just became boring (see previous point), but it could be that there is a bigger problem. If so – first try to fix the underlying problem, and then get to sex, not the other way around.

You can find some quick tips how to boost your creativity in sex here, or you can have a go with our Naughty Game which is particularly created with the intent to reignite the spark between you and make some spicy memories in the process! 

better sex for better relationship

9.   Start Dating Again (Both)

Of course, we are talking about dating your partner, not seeing other people.

Do you remember the time when the both of you were excited to see each other, and each time tried your best to impress one another? 

Either it was how you dressed, the places you took your special one, how you talked, smiled, and just felt about each other. It was magical, right! 

So, if you feel that your relationship now has gone cold, why not recrate that feeling you had. Start taking each other to dates – from as simple as taking him/her to see the sunset, trying the new restaurant together, or a surprise staycation. 

You can even recreate some of your most memorable dates from the beginning of your relationship. Maybe there is a special spot, special outfit or anything else that might bring back those strong, loving emotions from your mutual past.

Do together what make the both of you happy!

10.   Make Them Feel Loved (Both)

Last, but not least – just make your partner feel loved.

This might be the most obvious, yet most important tip we can give you. It is so simple to forget that we are together with a person, who also have needs, wants, emotions and who also wants to be loved.

Make sure you another half feels wanted, trusted, cared for, and loved. And don’t just say it. Show it!

Show it with your actions, attention, and your behavior. Judge less, and praise more. Be angry less and appreciate the good things more. Give more, and also expect to get back more.

The previous sentence is very important, because to give love you also need to receive it back, otherwise you will burn out. So yes, be loving, but be sure to receive it back.

In a healthy relationship – love goes both ways.

Hot to improve my relationship

In Conclusion

Every relationship has its ups, downs, laughs, tears, joy and sorrow, so when you hit a cold point in your relationship, know that it can happen to the best of us.

If your relationship is worth it, you will find a way to reignite the spark and keep it going – maybe, stronger than ever. But of course, it takes some time and work – from your and your partner’s part.

This isn’t easy to do, but sometimes the hardest thing you must do is to trust yourself. And, when you do, you might find the love that you once had coming back. 

As always, feel free to read other relationship tips and look around our store to find some thoughtful and sexy gifts for couples.

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We would love to hear from you!

Have you experienced a cold period in your relationship?

Were you able to get out of it?

Leave your thoughts in the comment section below!


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