10 Things to Rekindle Love in a Relationship Gone Cold
Relationships can be a rollercoaster of emotions, and like everything they have their ups and downs, sometimes even stopping at a freezing halt. It can happen to the best of us.
If you think that you are now going downwards in the rollercoaster ride of your relationship, you have come to the right place!
Even if everything is going smoothly, it won’t hurt to find out some tips on how to avoid this of happening.
So, read on and find out the 10 things we think you can do to rekindle your love for one another, and melt away the coldness that might have overcome your relationship.
*Tips are sorted in no particular order and can be done separately.
Read time: approximately 12 minutes
10 Things to Rekindle Love in a Relationship Gone Cold
What is Love Definition?
Love can be many things. It can be a feeling, a sensation, a person, a sense of belonging. It can even be a mathematical equation [1].
Take a second and think about, what are the first things that come in your mind, when thinking about love When you hear the word “love”, you might think of the feeling you had as a child or the feelings you had for your first significant other.
However, when it comes to romantic relationships, and the kind we will be covering in this article, “love” is a feeing and sense of belonging, trust and respect in relationships to your romantic partner. And this “love” describes two different types of emotion: Romantic Love vs. Sexual Love.
Different Types of Love?
While romantic love is based on trust, verbal communication and affection, sexual love is more about lust, desire, physical communication, and passion.
So, it is fully possible that with your romantic love everything is nice and sweet, while the sexual love is broken, and vice versa.
There are certain times in a relationship when you may fall in love with someone, and it lasts a long time. These are the people who feel comfortable and confident, and just want to be around their lover.
On the other hand, there are also times when you find someone, and then you just can’t get enough. These are the times you feel a lot of lust and passion.
In fact, the dynamics of these two types of love quite often shift while you are in the relationship – you can experience a period when both of you just can’t get your hands off each other, and sometimes you just want to spend time together by talking about life while sex is the last thing on your mind.
But, if one of you avoid either one types of love for a longer period of time, there might be a problem, which better be addresses sooner than later.
So, if you feel that your love has gone cold – first, find out, is it the Romantic Love, Sexual Love, or both, so you can start fixing things where it needs fixing.
As we said before, both loves work together in tandem, so all of these tips are relatable to both of them, but some of them leans more to one or another, so we have divided the tips into 3 categories, that relates more to Romantic, Sexual or Both types of loves.
1. Give Them Space to Speak (Romantic)
Communication is the key in any relationship. Without proper communication no relationship can work out, so be sure you let your partner speak his/her mind.
Many relationships get stuck in the same cycle of arguing and fighting about the same thing over and over again.
The best way to get out of this pattern is to give your partner space to talk about what they’re thinking, feeling, and experiencing. This will allow you to better understand your partner, which will make it easier to accept their feelings and needs.
2. Listen Intently and With Interest (Both)
Listening isn’t just about hearing words—it’s about showing you care, making your partner feel valued, and deepening your connection. Too often, couples fall into autopilot conversations, where they respond without really engaging. But when you truly listen—when you make an effort to understand, not just reply—you create space for emotional and physical intimacy to flourish.
- Be present. Put the phone down, make eye contact, and show that you’re engaged. Your full attention tells your partner they matter.
- Ask deeper questions. Go beyond “How was your day?” and ask about their thoughts, dreams, or things that excite them. Curiosity is a form of affection.
- Listen for understanding, not just to respond. Instead of waiting for your turn to speak, absorb what they’re saying. When your partner feels heard, they feel loved.
- Connect through their passions. Even if their hobby isn’t your thing, showing genuine interest makes them feel valued. Passion is attractive, and when you nurture theirs, you nurture your connection.
The more you listen, the more you learn—and the more you learn, the more reasons you find to love them. Real connection starts with attention—because when someone feels truly heard, they feel truly wanted.
3. Show Attention and Express Affection (Sexual)
Desire isn’t just about physical attraction—it’s about feeling wanted, seen, and appreciated. Over time, relationships settle into comfort, and it’s easy to forget the small, flirty moments that once made you crave each other. The key to rekindling that spark isn’t grand gestures—it’s consistent, intentional affection that reminds your partner they’re still the one who makes your heart race.
- Reignite the gaze. Remember how you used to look at them? Not just seeing them, but really looking—like they were the most interesting person in the room. Eye contact that lingers a second too long, a subtle smirk, or even a raised eyebrow can spark the kind of tension that turns into something more.
- The power of subtle touch. A casual brush of the hand, fingers grazing their lower back, or a light squeeze on their thigh—these small, deliberate touches build anticipation. They don’t have to lead to anything immediately, but they send a clear message: I still desire you.
- Dress like you care. Attraction isn’t about looking perfect—it’s about effort. Whether it’s wearing their favorite scent, slipping into something that makes you feel confident, or just ditching the sweatpants for an evening, how you present yourself can reignite attraction.
- Flirt, even when there’s no end goal. A playful tease, an unexpected compliment, or whispering something suggestive in passing creates an atmosphere of connection without pressure. It reminds your partner that attraction isn’t just reserved for planned moments—it can happen anywhere, anytime.
Physical connection thrives on attention, effort, and playfulness. The more you engage in the little moments, the stronger the desire grows—and before you know it, the spark you thought had faded is burning hotter than ever.
4. Encourage Their Confidence (Both)
Confidence fuels attraction and connection. When we doubt ourselves—our worth, our desirability, or even our role in the relationship—it’s easy for love to feel distant. Insecurity can make us withdraw, second-guess affection, or assume the worst. And when both partners start to feel this way, a cold distance settles in.
Rekindling warmth starts with reassurance and appreciation—for yourself and your partner.
- Make them feel seen. Compliments aren’t just about looks. Acknowledge their hard work, their humor, their resilience. Recognizing effort—whether it’s something big like a career move or small like making the coffee first—makes them feel valued.
- Verbalize your attraction. A simple "You look really good today" or "I love when you do that thing with your hair" can remind them they’re still desirable in your eyes.
- Remind them why you chose them. Over time, people forget what makes them special in the eyes of their partner. Tell them why you love them, what drew you to them in the first place, and why you’re still here.
- Address outside stressors. If your own stress is making you withdraw, be transparent. Let them know it’s not about them—so they don’t mistake your distraction for disinterest.
And don’t forget to accept love back. Confidence isn’t just built on what you give—it’s also in allowing yourself to receive. Let your partner’s affection land. Take their compliments. Let yourself be loved. When both of you feel valued and secure, love stops feeling like something you have to chase—and starts feeling like something you get to enjoy.
5. Let Go of Perfectionism (Romantic)
Sure, you need to aim for perfection and become a petter person than before, but fixation on perfection will only do harm. And it is true in relationship, as it is true in different areas of life.
Also, asking perfection from your partner, you are putting pressure on him/her, and doing so the person most likely won’t become perfect, but rather scared of disappointing you, which in the long run is a bad thing.
If you find yourself getting into the loop of finding things that you wish were better in your relationship, take a moment to yourself.
Are those things bad, or just not perfect? If it is the latter, remember that nothing is perfect and focus on the good things – because there sure are the good things (if there are no good things in your relationship, it probably is a time to evaluate, why you are in such relationship).
So, in order for you to let go of perfectionism, you have to be able to let go of the idea that you are going to keep up with every aspect of your relationship.
There is no way you can maintain a relationship with someone and be perfect all the time. You are going to be human.
When we first meet someone, we expect them to be perfect, but over time, we get tired of being around perfectionists and want our partner to be their “normal” self.
6. Share Stories from the Past (Romantic)
Nostalgia is a powerful emotional trigger that can do a lot to your relationship. Surely, there have been many exciting moments that you shared together that you can now reflect on.
Take a glass of your favorite drinks, sit down, let go of your phones and just talk with each other about the good times you had together. This not only will take back you to the memory lane, but could open you both to new ideas, and new adventures you would like to go to!
Remember to be positive and look back on the times in a lighthearted way.
7. Become a Better Person and Partner (Both)
By listening more intently, learning how to make your partner happier, understanding more, and – taking the time to take care of yourself, will make you a better person and in turn might reignite the spark between the two of you.
If you will be happier, you will be able to make your partner happier.
8. Fun Under the Sheets (Sexual)
So, it is not hard to imagine, if you have no or little sex, or don’t have any passion when doing it, there is a big problem, and it needs your attention.
First understand, is the problem lack of sex or the quality of it. Then try to figure out the cause of it. When you will know it, well, it might be very easily or very difficult to fix.
-
Lack of sex mostly comes when you both are just too busy. If you are too busy – you are in luck because this is the most easily fixable problem. Just sit down and talk it out, when would be the best time for you to have sex.
-
Sexual quality often suffers, when you have reached a point, where If this is the case, try to introduce new elements in the bedroom. New positions, new toys, new games, role-play. The sky is the limit here, just make it new and exciting.
- But there can be a third option – maybe you have lost interest in each other. If you have lost interest, well, it might be because the sex just became boring (see previous point), but it could be that there is a bigger problem. If so – first try to fix the underlying problem, and then get to sex, not the other way around.
You can find some quick tips how to boost your creativity in sex here, or you can have a go with our Naughty Game which is particularly created with the intent to reignite the spark between you and make some spicy memories in the process!
9. Start Dating Again (Both)
Do you remember the time when the both of you were excited to see each other, and each time tried your best to impress one another?
Either it was how you dressed, the places you took your special one, how you talked, smiled, and just felt about each other. It was magical, right!
So, if you feel that your relationship now has gone cold, why not recrate that feeling you had. Start taking each other to dates – from as simple as taking him/her to see the sunset, trying the new restaurant together, or a surprise staycation.
You can even recreate some of your most memorable dates from the beginning of your relationship. Maybe there is a special spot, special outfit or anything else that might bring back those strong, loving emotions from your mutual past.
Do together what make the both of you happy!
10. Make Them Feel Loved (Both)
This might be the most obvious, yet most important tip we can give you. It is so simple to forget that we are together with a person, who also have needs, wants, emotions and who also wants to be loved.
Make sure you another half feels wanted, trusted, cared for, and loved. And don’t just say it. Show it!
Show it with your actions, attention, and your behavior. Judge less, and praise more. Be angry less and appreciate the good things more. Give more, and also expect to get back more.
The previous sentence is very important, because to give love you also need to receive it back, otherwise you will burn out. So yes, be loving, but be sure to receive it back.
In a healthy relationship – love goes both ways.
In Conclusion
If your relationship is worth it, you will find a way to reignite the spark and keep it going – maybe, stronger than ever. But of course, it takes some time and work – from your and your partner’s part.
This isn’t easy to do, but sometimes the hardest thing you must do is to trust yourself. And, when you do, you might find the love that you once had coming back.
FAQ: How to Rekindle Love in a Relationship That’s Gone Cold
1. Why does love fade in long-term relationships?
Love can fade due to routine, lack of communication, external stress, or emotional disconnection. Over time, partners may stop prioritizing intimacy and effort, leading to a loss of passion. Recognizing this early and making intentional efforts to reconnect can prevent a deeper disconnect.
2. How do you bring back intimacy in a relationship?
Rekindling intimacy starts with small, intentional gestures. Try active listening, spontaneous affection, planning surprise dates, and expressing appreciation. If sexual intimacy has faded, explore new experiences, fantasies, or couple’s games to reignite passion.
3. What are some signs that a relationship needs rekindling?
If you feel distant, conversations feel transactional, affection is rare, or intimacy has declined, your relationship may need a reset. Lack of excitement, frequent misunderstandings, or feeling more like roommates than lovers are also red flags.
4. Can you fix a relationship that has lost its spark?
Yes! Relationships naturally go through phases. Prioritize quality time, communicate openly, and make each other feel valued. Revisiting past romantic moments or engaging in new shared experiences can help bring back that spark.
5. What’s the fastest way to reconnect with your partner?
- Surprise them with a thoughtful gesture (a heartfelt note, a favorite treat).
- Plan a date night—recreate your first date or try something new together.
- Express gratitude and appreciation daily.
- Try a fun, intimate game to encourage conversation and playfulness.
- Have an honest talk about what you both miss in your relationship and how to bring it back.
Leave a comment